


Use your heart when the mental issues drown out your voice

by Anne_Hathagay



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s04e18 Shooting Star, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Brittana, Slow Burn Fosh, Slow Burn Klaine, they get shot, they start a band
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24257806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anne_Hathagay/pseuds/Anne_Hathagay
Summary: So Shooting Star Au three people get shot few  OC’s. Gah I suck at summaries please read it’s good trust me.Playlist:https://open.spotify.com/playlist/34T1XlnWztBMiEQRcdBAuG?si=yu61j6LERuC6MwwuMbVJLA use it don’t use it’s good.
Relationships: Eventual Brittany S. Pierce/Santana Lopez, Eventual Josh Whyatt/Fynn Sargeant, Eventual Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson
Kudos: 15





	1. The Break Up and Subsequent Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Shooting Stars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9515957) by [Mina8992](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mina8992/pseuds/Mina8992). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys rewriting this cause I had a better concept.

In the cafeteria

Josh, Brittany and Blaine stare at Jake and Marley as they obliviously miss their feelings for each other. “Oh, young love.” Brittany says

“Do you remember when you first started dating Santana, Josh started dating Fynn and I started dating Kurt, back before everyone was so busy and so far away. Things were so much simpler. We had so much more hope and innocence. Every day was like Valentine’s Day.” Blaine says

“We're still young. Shouldn’t we still be experiencing those things?” Josh asks

In New York the Bushwick apartment

Rachel walks out of the bedroom to find Kurt cooking a Croque Madame. “Hey.” Rachel says

“Somebody slept late. It’s lunchtime. Do you want a Croque Madame?” Kurt asks

“We didn’t go to bed till late.” Rachel says

“Thank good for ear plugs. I love you both but I don’t want to hear any of that.” Kurt says

“We didn’t do anything. He didn’t even talk to me, we just, like, lay there.” Rachel says

“I’m gonna take this down to the park and watch drug deals go down. It good to see you again, Finn.” Kurt says as Finn walks into the kitchen

“You, too, little brother.” Finn says

“Um so are you hungry? Can I make you some eggs?” Rachel asks

“Yeah. Thanks. Wow this place is awesome.” Finn says looking at the apartment

“It’s the, uh, ideal neighborhood, but, at least we can sort of see Manhattan. I can’t do this, Finn. I don’t understand. I don’t know what’s going on. Why are you here and why aren’t you in your uniform?” Rachel asks

“Because I’m not in the Army. Well, I was, for 16 days, but it wasn’t that bad. I really felt like was someplace I could make a difference, and I’m pretty used to getting yelled at, so I was doing okay. Then one day I was cleaning Rachel, they made you give your rifle a name, and it went off. Right through my thigh. Thank God I didn’t hit any bone. I got a semi honourable discharge. So I’ve been backpacking through Georgia for the past couple of months. I’m sorry I didn’t call you, but I was embarrassed. I mean, I left with so much certainty and confidence. I was gonna redeem my dad and make you proud. I couldn’t face you seeing me as a Lima loser.” Finn explains

“Enough of this lumping around. All right so what? The Army didn’t work out. Plans change. You’re here with me now, in the greatest city in the whole world and what a better place for you and I to find you a new dream.” Rachel says

“Like what?” Finn asks

“Before the Army you applied to Pace to be an actor. You know, that obviously isn’t the right school but I don’t know, maybe NYDA is. I mean, why don’t you come with me to all of my classes this week, and if you love it then you can move here and we’ll spend the whole year just finding a way for you to get in.” Rachel says

“You serious?” Finn asks

“I love it here, but something has always been missing. I let you go once and I’m not gonna let that happen again.” Rachel says before they kiss

In Brittany’s bedroom

“I mean I’m not jealous, I’m just saying it’s insane that all Porcelain had to do to get an internship at Vogue.com is take photos of every ridiculous outfit he’s ever paired with a Cossack hat, and a see through raincoat and then show up at an interview where he is lauded as visionary because his jodhpurs match his riding crop.” Santana rants

“Well you could follow your dream too. Your mom gave you that money and said you could go to New York too, if you wanted.” Brittany says

“I like being in college. My schedule is crazy busy but I love being a cheerleader and I love the idea that I’m never more than a few hours away from you.” Santana says

“Can’t you do laundry at school?” Brittany asks

“Mm-mm. My first week there I heard a rumour that all the water in Louisville is just purified run off from the Kentucky Derby stables.” Santana says

“Nasty.” Brittany says making a face

“But more importantly I promised myself that I would only do laundry at home, that way, no matter how busy I get, I would be forced to come home every few weeks, and then I’d get to see you.” Santana says as the kiss and Brittany yawns into the kiss. “Are you okay?” She probes as they pull away

“Yeah, sorry, I was up late last night, reading ‘Desecration: Antichrist Takes the Throne.’ It’s the ninth book in the Left Behind series of the apocalyptic Christian novels about the end times and the rise of the Antichrist, whose name is Nicolae Carpathia, or Barack Obama depends on who you ask.” Brittany says

“Britt, those Left Behind books are really intense. What teacher is making you read those? And don’t tell me Mr. Shue is doing some Christian music week.” Santana says

“It’s not a class, it’s an after school club that Sam and Joe and Josh to piss the leader off and Kitty and Dottie Kazatori are in. And you should come tomorrow.” Brittany says

“Who’s Dottie Kazatori?” Santana ask

“She’s Tina's assistant. Everyone graduated and things got weird.” Brittany says

In Josh’s apartment

There’s a knock on the door. “All right, all right. I’m coming, quit banging!” Josh snaps pulling the door open his leather jacket halfway on on his way out

“Surprise.” Fynn says on the other side of the door with a bunch of flowers

“Fynn! It’s so good to see you.” Josh says pulling the quiffed boy into hug

“You going somewhere?” Fynn asks pointing to the leather jacket

“Yeah. We need to talk but I think I’d be easier to show you.” Josh says grabbing his keys and pulling his jacket the rest of the way on walking out and locking the door

In a cemetery

“Josh, what are we doing in a cemetery?” Fynn asks as they pick their way through the graves

“We’re here because I’ve got to show you something.” Josh says stopping by a grave

“Kate Whyatt.” Fynn says reading the gravestone. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks pulling Josh into a hug

“I didn’t tell you because you were going away anyway she died just after you left. I had a simple ceremony just me and my Auntie Gill, my dad’s buried overseas but at least I can come see her anytime I want.” Josh says

“Josh I’m so sorry.” Fynn says as Josh lays a bouquet of white lilies by the grave

In the hallway

Blaine’s phone buzzes. “Hey stranger.” He says answering his phone

“Hey. Uh. Crap! Can you hold on one second? Isabelle Wright’s office. How can I help you?” Kurt asks

“Um, it’s me Kurt.” Blaine says

“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry. Uh, look I’ve taken over Isabelle’s phones for the week and they just won’t stop ringing.” Kurt says

“It’s okay. If you want to call me back later, we can talk then.” Blaine says

“I can’t. Isabelle says we have to get the column on the website by midnight tonight. Look, I know this is frustrating. It’s frustrating for me, too, and I don’t want to miss our phone dates but, you know, this could be a career for me.” Kurt says

“I get it, I do. I really get it. It’s just I really miss you. A lot okay? I miss talking to you and I miss hugging you and I miss messing around with you.” Blaine says

“Me too. But you're coming in two week, right?” Kurt asks

“I know, but, what am I supposed to do till then, just hold my breath?” Blaine asks

“Shoot. Joan Didoin is calling. She alway has the best gossip. Um, all right, I will call or text you on a break?” Kurt says

“Okay. I love you.” Blaine says but Kurt’s already gone

At NYADA

‘Look at her, she’s amazing. Even when she’s not all dolled up. I’ve never seen her more alive. She’s found a place where she belongs, where she thrives. I just wish I could find a place like that for me because I don’t belong here. I'd never get into NYADA, and what the hell am I gonna do in New York, run a hot dog cart outside of Madison Square Garden? No way. I used to be the man of her dreams, but now we’re not even in the same world.’ Finn thinks to himself

In the Bushwick apartment

“Dude I’m not wearing a suit for a night out on the town. I didn’t even bring a suit.” Finn says

“Finn you can wear dad jeans and a rugby shirt to Callbacks.” Kurt says lint rolling his jacket

“What’s Callbacks?” Finn asks

“It’s this amazing bar that all the NYADA students go to, and Friday nights are the best because everyone gets up and sings, and it is where we’re going tonight, it’s going to be great.” Rachel says

“So I have to get dressed up to go to a karaoke bar?” Finn asks

“Come on, Finn, we’ll let you sing ‘Don’t Stop Believin’,’ or something equally uplifting.” Kurt says

“I don’t, I don’t know. I’m so out of practice, I haven’t even sung in the shower since Nationals.” Finn says as there’s a knock at the door

“Surprise!” Blaine says as Kurt opens the door to him on the other side of it

“Blaine!” Kurt says before stammering

“Hi.” Blaine says as they hug

“This is amazing! But I wasn’t expecting you for another few weeks.” Kurt says

“I know, I just couldn’t wait any longer. I miss you too much.” Blaine says

“Oh I missed you too. It’s so good to see you.” Kurt says before they kiss chastely

“Wait! I can’t believe you’re here. I missed you so much.” Rachel says hugging Blaine

“Hi. Hi. Oh, Finn! What are you doing here?” Blaine asks

“I’m not really sure at the moment but.” Finn says

“It’s fantastic, we’re all together here. Just like the good old days.” Rachel says

At Callbacks

“You okay? You seem a little distracted.” Kurt says

“I’m great. It was just a rough flight. I had the middle because I booked the ticket last minute.” Blaine half lies he did have the middle seat but he was also feeling guilty about something else

“Well, I, for one, am glad you did. It’s our first night out in New York. We’ll never forget this.” Kurt says

“Uh, Coke and, uh?” Finn starts before turning to Rachel

“Oh, amaretto sour, please, virgin. It good.” She orders

“Hey, Finn, Rachel.” Brody says

“Brody, hi.” Rachel says

“Hey, Brody, good to see you again, man.” Finn says as they shake hands

“Yeah, you too, you too. So, how’s the, uh, the visit going so far?” Brody asks

“Amazing. I took him to school to get the full NYADA experience together.” Rachel says

“Cool. Well, in that case, I hope you’re singing tonight. You haven’t really been to NYADA until you’ve sung at Callbacks.” Brody says

“This is what I’ve been trying to tell him, and I really, really want him to sing ‘Give Your Heart a Break’ with me but.” Rachel says

“But I’m not a student.” Finn reasons

“Well, you’re with Rachel, which makes you honourary. And I’m buddies with Pascal the piano player.” Brody says

“And the song works better as a duet, so…” Rachel says

“Well, why don’t you guys sing it together? It's a NYADA tradition? And you guys are both NYADA students.” Finn says

“Finn.” Rachel says

“Yeah. All right, let’s do it. Okay.” Brody says

“I love you. Wish me luck.” Rachel says kissing Finn and walking away

[Rachel:]  
“The day I first met you  
You told me you'd never fall in love  
But now that I get you  
I know fear is what it really was  
Now here we are, so close  
Yet so far, how didn't I pass the test?  
When will you realize  
That baby, I'm not like the rest?”

[Rachel and Brody:]  
“Don't wanna break your heart  
Wanna give your heart a break  
I know you're scared, it's wrong”

[Rachel:]  
“Like you might make a mistake”

[Rachel and Brody:]  
“There's just one life to live  
And there's no time to wait”

[Rachel:]  
“To waste”

[Rachel and Brody:]  
“So let me give your heart a break”

[Brody:]  
“Give your heart a break”

[Rachel:]  
“Let me give your heart a break”

[Brody:]  
“Your heart a break”

[Rachel:]  
“Oh yeah, yeah”

[Brody:]  
“On Sunday, you went home alone  
There were tears in your eyes  
I called your cell phone, my love  
But you did not reply”

[Rachel and Brody:]  
“The world is ours if we want it  
We can take it”

[Rachel (Brody):]  
“If you just take my hand  
There's no turning back now (There's no turning back)  
Baby, try to understand”

[Rachel and Brody:]  
“Don't wanna break your heart  
Wanna give your heart a break  
I know you're scared, it's wrong”

“Don't wanna break your heart  
Maybe I can ease the ache! the ache!  
So let me give your heart a break”

[Rachel:]  
“I know you're scared, it's wrong”

[Brody (with Rachel harmonizing):]  
“Give your heart a break  
Your heart a break”

[Rachel and Brody:]  
“Your heart a break  
There's just so much you can take,  
Give your heart a break  
Let me give your heart a break  
Your heart a break  
Oh yeah, yeah” there’s cheers and applause as the two finish singing

“Oh my God, you guys. It was so amazing up there. You have to do your Sweeny Todd megs medley.” Rachel squeals

“And risk a Page Six spread? I don’t think so. ‘Vogue.com intern sings without warming up.’ Not happening.” Kurt says

“I want to sing something.” Blaine says

“Yeah, just, uh, ask Pascal.” Brody says

“Pascal.” Kurt says

“How was I? Was I good?” Rachel asks

“Yeah.” Finn says

“Yeah!” Rachel squeals

“Um, hi, everyone. I, um, I wanted to sing a song that’s very special to me. This is the song I sang the first time I met the love of my life. Um, so, Kurt, this is for you.” Blaine says

“Before you met me  
I was alright but things  
Were kinda heavy  
You brought me to life  
Now every February  
You'll be my Valentine, Valentine”

“Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance, until we die  
You and I, will be young forever”

“You make me feel  
Like I'm livin' a  
Teenage dream  
The way you turn me on  
I can't sleep  
Let's run away and  
Don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back”

“My heart stops  
When you look at me  
Just one touch  
Now baby I believe  
This is real  
So take a chance and  
Don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back”

“I'm a get your heart racing  
In my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me  
In my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight”

“You make me  
Feel like a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on  
I can't sleep  
Let's run away and  
Don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back”

“My heart stops  
When you look at me  
Just one touch  
Now baby I believe  
This is real  
So don't ever look back, no!”

“I'm a get your heart racing  
In my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me  
In my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight” once again there’s cheers and applause as Blaine finishes

In Central Park

“So you and your friend sound great together.” Finn says

“Oh, I wish you would’ve gotten up there and sang with me.” Rachel says

“Yeah, I just, I don’t fit in here. This place is just too big. It moves too fast. People are too talented.” Finn says

“No. I felt that way when I first moved here.” Rachel says

“Even in Ohio, I knew you were meant for this. I’m just not.” Finn says

Several paces back with Blaine and Kurt

“So, that was moving. I guess I’m kinda wondering why that was.” Kurt says

“Well, you know, I, uh, I really missed you.” Blaine says

“I missed you too. And I’m really glad you’re here. But you’ve been so emotional and weirdly sad. Please stop pretending like nothings wrong.” Kurt says

“I was with someone.” Blaine admits

With Finn and Rachel

“So, are you sure you and this Brody guy are just friends?” Finn asks

“Look I told you, everything’s…” Rachel starts

“Just, please, don’t lie to me.” Finn insists

“I couldn’t get in touch with you, okay? You weren’t answering my calls or my text messages. I didn’t know where you were or if you were even okay.” Rachel says

“So you were with him.” Finn says

“I kissed him, but that’s it. Okay, and only because you told me that you want me to be free.” Rachel says

“I can’t believe I even said that. I so stupid.” Finn says

With Kurt and Blaine

“It was Sebastian wasn’t it?” Kurt asks

“No it wasn’t Sebastian. But it doesn’t. It didn’t mean anything. It was just a hookup, okay?” Blaine insists

“Who was it?” Kurt asks

“It doesn’t matter who I was with, Kurt. What matters is I was by myself. I needed you. I needed you around and you weren’t there. And I was lonely and I’m, I’m really sorry.” Blaine says

“You don’t think I’ve been lonely? You don’t think that I’ve had temptations? But I didn’t act on it because I knew what it meant. It meant something horrible and awful and.” Kurt says lost for words

“I’m so sorry, Kurt. I really am.” Blaine says as Kurt runs off

That night the mood in the apartment was frosty as each couple reeled from the revelations of what had happened to their pairings

In the morning

“You can’t just run away.” Kurt says to Finn as he tries to sneak out

“Dude you totally spooked me. I thought I was the only one awake.” Finn says as Kurt turns on a lamp

“Been waiting for someone to come out. I was hoping it’d be Blaine.” Kurt says his voice dejected

You guys okay?” Finn asks

“I kind of feel like I’m going to die. Guess I don’t have to ask you what you’re doing apparently.” Kurt says

“I’ll talk to her later about it. I just got to get away for a bit.” Finn says

“Six months ago, did you ever think that things would be like this?” Kurt asks

“Sometimes I miss high school, you know? Come on, give me a hug before I go.” Finn says as they hug each other

“Do you want me to say anything to Rachel?” Kurt asks as Finn walks to the door

“No.” Finn says opening the door and walking out

At Breadstixs

“Okay, everybody, listen up. Y’all are sinners, and you better get right with God toot sweet, because Jesus just logged into Orbitz and booked himself a plane ticket to Earth. See, he’s got an awesome dad named God who’s throwing him bitching party called Armageddon, where he’s gonna get to kick off his sandals, dance a little bit and judge the crap out of everyone.” Kitty says

“Hi I have a question. What the hell are talking about?” Santana asks

“Um, the Rapture. When the end times come, the true believers in Christ will be lifted up, body and soul, into heaven, leaving the rest of you to duke it out.” Kitty says

“Sorry, hi, yeah. What strain of meth have you been smoking?” Josh asks

“It’s a strain called fuck you and fuck your atheism and enjoy your time in hell gay boy!” Kitty snaps

“Well I do have some heroes to meet Frank Iero and I have a kingdom to run so I’ll see you there.” Josh says

“What about those of us who are still on the fence about this?” Dottie Kazatori asks

“I don’t know where there is on to be on the fence about, Dottie. I just heard there’s an elderly Japanese woman who fell down in the bathroom. She doesn’t speak English and she needs your help.” Kitty says

“I’ll be right back.” Dottie days

“Santana, come on we should help her.” Brittany says

“No, wait, Britt I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on here.” Santana says as Brittany follows after Dottie

“Yeah me too. I still wanna see this though.” Josh whispers to Santana

“Okay everybody let’s go. Move it, move it, move it.” Kitty says as the entire club puts spare clothes on the seats and hides outside as Jake explains to Marley what’s happening and Josh just sits there and lights a cigarette

“I can’t find any Japanese ladies. Hello? Where did everyone go?” Dottie asks looking at the almost empty restaurant. 

“Hey Josh where’d everyone go?” Brittany asks

“Oh the Rapture happened just waiting for Hell to open up. Any minute now.” Josh says looking at his watch and continues to smoke

“Oh my God. We’ve been left behind. We’ve been left behind. We’ve been left behind.” Dottie says freaking out 

“That’s what it feels like to be left behind, Dottie Kazatori.” Kitty says

“Kitty! This has gone too far, okay? Dottie seems pretty damaged.” Jake says as Dottie hyperventilates on the floor

“Okay I’m out.” Josh says grabbing his jacket. “This has been insane. Because you are one of the psycho religious nuts who probably reported people like me and Santana made it so we couldn’t kiss on Valentine’s Day last year. Peace out.” He says throwing up a peace sign as he walks out the door

At Vogue.com

Kurt looks sadly at the note off the flowers from  
Blaine. “Well, someone’s either seriously crushing on you, or seriously trying to make up for something.” Someone says

“The latter.” Kurt says

“Ouch. He cute?” The guy asks

“That cutest.” Kurt says

“Oh, that sucks. I’m sorry. Hey, you need to go binge shopping? Isabelle’s summoning us to the conference room. I can cover for you.” He says

“I’m okay.” Kurt lies. “I’ll be okay.” He corrects as he drops the card from the flowers in the waste paper basket.

In the choir room

“You wanted to see me?” Brittany asks

“Sophomore year I used to sit in this back row, and secretly watch you. I counted the number of times you’d smiled at me, and I’d died on the days you didn’t. I miss this place so much it’s where we fell in love. Where I could say things with music, when words weren’t enough. And I need to tell you something that I don’t know how to say.” Santana says

[Santana:]  
“You were in college working part time waitin' tables  
Left a small town, never looked back  
I was a flight risk with a fear of fallin'  
Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts”

“I say "Can you believe it?  
As we're lying on the couch?"  
The moment I could see it.  
Yes, yes, I can see it now.”

“Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?  
You put your arm around me for the first time.  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.”

“And I remember that fight  
Two-thirty AM  
When everything was slipping right out of our hands  
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street”

“Then you took me by surprise  
You said, "I'll never leave you alone."

“You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine  
Do you believe it?  
We're gonna make it now  
And I can see it  
I can see it now”

“Well, sad songs make me really sad and I don’t wanna be sad right now.” Brittany says crying

“I haven’t been a good girlfriend to you. I can’t come home on the weekends and pretend things are the way they were, because they aren’t. I don’t want to be like all of those other long distance relationships, that, you know, hang in there for a few months, and then break up when someone eventually cheats or things get weird.” Santana says

“I would never cheat on you.” Brittany says

“I know. I know, and I would never cheat on you, either, but if we’re being completely honest, I had, well, I guess the best way to describe it would be an energy exchange? I was cramming for this really boring sociology class, and I looked up, and this girl was staring at me. She smiled a little too long, which means she was either crazy, or a lesbian. And judging by the stack of Virginia Woolf she was reading, she was into me. So I smiled back. I had an attraction and she asked me to run away to New York with her. And you, you may have had one or you might have one, and that happens. Let’s just do the mature thing here, okay? This is not an official breakup, but let’s just be honest that long distance relationships are almost impossible to maintain. Because both people are rarely getting what they need, especially at our age.” Santana says

“This sounds a lot like a breakup to me.” Brittany sniffles

“You know this isn’t working. You know I will always love you the most.” Santana says as they share a chaste kiss and a hug

“I love you too.” Brittany sniffles

In the auditorium

“Hey you wanted to see me?” Fynn says walking in

“Yeah. Look I know about Ben. How could you? Don’t say anything. Listen. And then explain.” Josh says before strikes a chord as the band starts playing along with him

“Well, when you go  
So never think, I'll make you try to stay  
And maybe when you get back  
I'll be off to find another way”

“Well, after all this time that you still owe  
You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know  
So take your gloves and get out  
Better get out  
While you can”

“When you go  
Would you even turn to say  
"I don't love you  
Like I did  
Yesterday"

“Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading  
So sick and tired of all the needless beating  
But baby when they knock you  
Down and out  
Is where you ought to stay”

“Well, after all the blood that you still owe  
Another dollar's just another blow  
So fix your eyes and get up  
Better get up  
While you can  
Whoa, whoa”

[Guitar Break]

“When you go  
Would you even turn to say  
"I don't love you  
Like I did  
Yesterday"

“Well, come on, come on”

“When you go  
Would you have the guts to say  
"I don't love you  
Like I loved you  
Yesterday"

“I don't love you  
Like I loved you  
Yesterday”

“I don't love you  
Like I loved you  
Yesterday”

“Okay explain yourself. Who’s Ben?” Josh says plopping down on the edge of the stage angrily

“So Ben is a guy that I met at the studio and we clicked but we’re just friends.” Fynn says

“Yeah these texts don’t make it seem like you’re just friends ‘I wish you weren’t with your boyfriend because then I do you senseless’ if you weren’t happy you should’ve let me know. You know what? We’re done.” Josh says storming out executed perfectly

In the auditorium

“This is where you proposed to me. When you did, you reminded me it was where we had our first date. It’s also where we first met. Do you remember that?” Rachel asks

“Yeah, glee rehearsal. You, uh, you really freaked me out.” Finn says

“This place I kind of like our Jerusalem. All roads seem to just lead us back here. I went to your house and to the tire shop. I should have known you would’ve been here though.” Rachel says

“I know it sounds kind of weird, but I just felt like singing up here. Seems to help me figure stuff out before, so.” Finn says

“Yeah, I would have just come here first, if you would’ve picked up the phone or answered my text messages. Instead I had to get on a plane and drive around town, looking for you, like an idiot.” Rachel says

“I’m sorry. I just need time to think.” Finn says

“You had four months. I hated you for what you did to me at that train station.” Rachel says

“I was trying to help you.” Finn says

“Hated you. But then when I got to New York, I thought how much you love me and how hard that must have been for you. And I thought, this, this is what a man looks like. This is how a man loves. But you not telling me for four months and sneaking out before sunrise, in the middle of the night, without even saying goodbye, that is not being a man, Finn.” Rachel says

“I’m trying to give you your freedom!” Finn yells

“I don’t need you to give me my freedom! I am a grown woman. I don’t need you to hide from me, to keep me from doing what is right for me.” Rachel says her anger palpable

“Like that Brody guy?” Finn asks

“I didn’t do Brody, okay? And don’t you think I’d rather have been with you?” Rachel asks

“Well, didn’t you say he was on Broadway? Right? And he’s got three percent body fat, right? Who am I? I barely even graduated high school, and my life has absolutely no direction. Who am I?” Finn asks

“Don’t you get it? No matter how rich or famous or successful I become, when it comes to you, I’m, I’m always gonna be that moon eyed girl who freaked you out at our first glee rehearsal. You were the first boy who made me feel loved and sexy and visible. You are my first love. And I want, more than anything, for you to be my last. But I can’t do this anymore. At least, not now. We’re done.” Rachel says 

“Wow. What am I gonna do with my life? I don’t have a girl, I don’t have a job, I don’t have a place in this world. What am I supposed to do?” Finn asks

“You have you. And that’s better than anything else on this planet, as far as I’m concerned.” Rachel says before they kiss and then she walks off stage

[Finn:]  
“Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you, tell you I need you  
Tell you I set you apart”

[Josh:]  
“Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions  
Oh let's go back to the start”

[Blaine:]  
“Running in circles, coming up tails  
Heads on a science apart”

[Santana:]  
“Nobody said it was easy”

[Finn, Josh and Blaine:]  
“It's such a shame for us to part”

[Santana:]  
“Nobody said it was easy”

[Fynn:]  
“No one ever said it would be this hard  
Oh, take me back to the start.”

[Kurt:]  
“I was just guessing at numbers and figures  
Pulling the puzzles apart”

[Brittany:]  
“Questions of science, science and progress  
Do not speak as loud as my heart”

[Will and Emma:]  
“But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me  
Oh and I rush to the start”

[Finn and Rachel:]  
“Running in circles, chasing our tails  
Coming back as we are”

[Finchel, Wemma, Klaine, Brittana and Fosh (Rachel belting):]  
“Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
(I'm going back to the start)”

“Nobody said it was easy  
Nobody said it was easy  
Nobody said it was easy  
Nobody said it was easy  
Nobody said it was easy”

In the hallway

“Hey guys. That bad, huh?” Josh asks almost knowing the answer

“I cheated on him, how do you think it went?” Blaine says

“Mine went marginally better, Santana said it wasn’t an official breakup but she’s moving to New York with someone else so take that with a grain of salt.” Brittany says

“Well he cheated on me with some guitarist called Ben. So this is why I propose I have three tickets to see Queen in Columbus next Tuesday I was gonna take you know who and his brother. But that ship sailed so please? I don’t wanna be here right now.” Josh pleads

“Yeah why not? I could use some excitement.” Brittany says

“Why the hell not? My parents are going away soon anyway.” Blaine shrugs

Outside the concert hall

“I need a drink. Come on it’s on me.” Josh says

“All right you got fake ID’s?” Brittany asks

“Do I have fake ID’s? Don’t make me laugh. Of course I do.” Josh says handing out the other two fake ID’s 

“How? You know what? I don’t even wanna know.” Blaine says

In a seedy Columbus bar.

“Whiskey neat.” Josh orders

“Budwhieser.” Blaine orders

“Gin and tonic.” Brittany orders the hours and the drinks roll by they getting steadily drunker they’re ideas becoming stupid and they’re brains becoming fuzzier forgetting their past and their ex’s

“We should start a band.” Josh slurs sloshing a small amount of his drink on his hand

“Why?” Brittany asks equally drunk

“And how?” Blaine asks as drunk as Sunshine Triplets brother and sister

“Well think about it. Brittany and I play guitar, Blaine you play bass, we all sing. We put out a call for a drummer and start a band.” Josh explains

“What are we gonna call our band?” Brittany asks

“Bad Romantics. Think about it. It’s a double meaning. Cause we all failed in our relationship plus it’s just cool.” Josh slurs

“To the Bad Romantics.” They all say clinking their various drinks.

A couple weeks later in a club which does live music.

“All right ladies and gentlemen we’re Bad Romantic’s. Tonight we’ve got a couple of songs for you. Unfortunately the original stuff is in the works so we’ll be performing Planetary (GO), Na Na Na and Summertime.” Josh says as the crowd whoops and hollers

“And a very big thank you to our friend Ryder for coming to play drums for us tonight.” Blaine adds

[Josh]  
“Look alive, sunshine  
One-oh-nine in the sky  
But the pigs won't quit  
You're here with me: Doctor Death-Defy  
I'll be your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter  
Pumpin' out the slaughter-matic sounds  
To keep you live  
A system failure for the masses  
Anti-matter for the master-plan  
Louder than God's revolver  
And twice as shiny  
This one's for all you rock and rollers  
All you crash queens and motor babies  
Listen up!”

They all begin rocking out hard

[Brittany (Josh, Blaine and Ryder)]  
“The future is bulletproof  
The aftermath is secondary  
It's time to do it now and do it loud  
Killjoys  
Make some noise”

“(na, na, na...)”

“Drugs, gimme drugs, gimme drugs  
I don't need it, but I'll sell what you got  
Take the cash and I'll keep it  
Eight legs to the wall  
Hit the gas, kill them all  
And we crawl, and we crawl, and we crawl  
You be my detonator”

“Love, gimme love, gimme love  
I don't need it, but I'll take what I want from your heart  
And I'll keep it in a bag, in a box  
Put an X on the floor  
Gimme more, gimme more, gimme more  
Shut up and sing it with me”

“(na, na, na...)”

“From mall security  
To every enemy  
We're on your property  
Standing in V formation”

“(na, na, na...)”

“Let's blow an artery  
Eat plastic surgery  
Keep your apology  
Give us more detonation”

“(More! Gimme more! Gimme more!)”

“Oh, let me tell you 'bout the sad man  
Shut up and let me see your jazz hands  
Remember when you were a madman  
Thought you was Batman  
And hit the party with a gas can  
Kiss me you animal”

“(na, na, na...)”

“You run the company  
Fuck like a Kennedy  
I think we'd rather be  
Burning your information”

“(na, na, na...)”

“Let's blow an artery  
Eat plastic surgery  
Keep your apology  
Give us more detonation”

“And right here  
Right now  
All the way in Battery City  
The little children  
Raise their open filthy palms  
Like tiny daggers up to heaven  
And all the juvee halls  
And the Ritalin rats  
Ask angels made from neon  
And fucking garbage  
Scream out, "What will save us?"  
And the sky opened up”

“Everybody wants to change the world  
Everybody wants to change the world  
But no one, no one wants to die  
Wanna try, wanna try, wanna try  
Wanna try, wanna try, now  
I'll be your detonator”

“(na, na, na...)”

“Make no apology  
It's death or victory  
On my authority  
Crash and burn  
Young and loaded”

“Drop like a bullet shell  
Dress like a sleeper cell  
I'd rather go to hell  
Than be in purgatory  
Cut my hair  
Gag and bore me  
Pull this pin  
Let this world explode” as Blaine, Brittany and Ryder play the flourish Josh switches from his white and yellow Gibson Explorer to his wood coloured Gibson Les Paul as the bass drum drops Josh starts tapping his foot to the beat

[Josh (Blaine, Brittany and Ryder)]  
“There might be something outside your window  
But you just never know  
There could be something right past the turnpike gates  
But you'll just never know”

“If my velocity starts to make you sweat,  
Then just don't let go  
And if the Heaven ain't got a vacancy  
Then we just, then we just, then we just  
Then we just get up and go!”

“Ladies and gentlemen:  
Truth is now acceptable  
Fame is now injectable  
Process the progress  
This core is critical  
Faith is unavailable  
Lives become incredible  
Now, please understand that,”

“I can't slow down  
I won't be waiting for you  
I can't stop now  
Because I'm dancing  
This planet's ours to defend  
Ain't got no time to pretend  
Don't fuck around,  
This is our last chance”

“If my velocity starts to make you sweat  
Then just don't let go  
'Cause the emergency room got no vacancy  
And we just, and we just, and we just  
And we just get up and go!”

“Who they want you to be  
Who they wanted to see  
Go kill the party with me  
And never go home  
Who they want you to be  
Who they wanted to see  
Just leave the party with me, and never go home”

“You're unbelievable  
Ah, so unbelievable  
Ah, you ruin everything  
Oh, you better go home  
I'm unbelievable  
Yeah, I'm undefeatable  
Yeah, let's ruin everything,  
Blast it to the back row”

“They're sell-presentable  
Young, and so ingestible  
Sterile and collectible  
Safe, and I can't stand it  
This is a letter my word  
Is the Beretta  
The sound of my vendetta  
Against the ones who planned it”

“If my velocity starts to make you sweat  
Then just don't let go  
'Cause the emergency room got no vacancy  
Tell me who do you trust,  
Do you trust  
And we just  
Get up and go!”

“Who they want you to be  
Who they wanted to see  
Go kill the party with me  
And never go home  
Who they want you to be  
Who they wanted to see  
Just leave the party with me, and never go home”

“You keep eternity,  
Give us the radio  
Deploy the battery,  
We're taking back control  
Engage the energy,  
Light up the effigy  
No chance to take it slow,  
By now I'm sure you  
Know, know, know, know, know, know  
(1, 2, 3, go!)  
Get up and go!”

“Who they want you to be  
Who they wanted to see  
Go kill the party with me  
And never go home  
Who they want you to be  
Who they wanted to see  
Just leave the party with me, and never go home”

“Are we still having fun?  
Are you holding the gun?  
Take the money and run  
We'll never go home”

“I've got nothing to lose  
You've got nothing to say  
And we're leaving today  
We'll never go home”

“I think I better go now  
I think I better go now  
I think I better go now  
Gonna go now, gonna go now, gonna go now, gonna go now  
Go now, gonna go now  
Go home!”

The riff changes again as they end the song. 

[Blaine]  
“When the lights go out  
Will you take me with you  
And carry all this broken bone  
Through six years down in crowded rooms  
And highways I call home?  
Something I can't know 'til now  
'Til you pick me off the ground  
With a brick in hand, your lip-gloss smile  
Your scraped-up knees”

“And if you stay I would even wait all night  
Or until my heart explodes  
How long?  
'Til we find our way in the dark and out of harm  
You can run away with me anytime you want”

“Terrified of what I'd be  
As a kid from what I've seen  
Every single day when people try  
And put the pieces back together  
Just to smash them down  
Turn my headphones up real loud  
I don't think I need them now  
'Cause you stopped the noise”

“And if you stay I would even wait all night  
Or until my heart explodes  
How long?  
'Til we find our way in the dark and out of harm  
You can run away with me anytime you want”

“Well, anytime you want  
Well, anytime you want”

“Don't walk away  
Don't walk away  
Don't walk away  
Don't walk away”

“'Cause if you stay I would even wait all night  
Or until my heart explodes  
How long?  
Until we find our way in the dark and out of harm  
You can run away with me  
You can write it on your arm  
You can run away with me anytime you want”

“Another!” The crowd begin chanting

“They want another? Do you want another?” Josh asks, putting his arms out leaning into the his microphone

“Yeah!” The crowd yell

“Hold on just a minute.” Josh says holding up a hand

“What are we gonna play?” Blaine asks

“Famous Last Words!” Josh yells snapping his fingers 

“What? As an ensemble?” Brittany asks

“Yes. All right let’s go.” Josh says

[The Bad Romantics (the crowd)]  
“Now I know  
That I can't make you stay  
But where's your heart?  
But where's your heart?  
But where's your…”

“And I know  
There's nothing I can say  
To change that part  
To change that part  
To change…”

“So many  
Bright lights, they cast a shadow  
But can I speak?  
Well is it hard understanding  
I'm incomplete  
A life that's so demanding  
I get so weak  
A love that's so demanding  
I can't speak”

“I am not afraid to keep on living  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone  
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home”

“Can you see  
My eyes are shining bright  
'Cause I'm out here  
On the other side  
Of a jet black hotel mirror  
And I'm so weak  
Is it hard understanding  
I'm incomplete  
A love that's so demanding  
I get weak”

“I am not afraid to keep on living  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone  
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home”

“I am not afraid to keep on living  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone  
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home”

“These bright lights have always blinded me  
These bright lights have always blinded me  
I say”

“I see you lying next to me  
With words I thought I'd never speak  
Awake and unafraid  
Asleep or dead”

“(How can I see, I see you lying) 'Cause I see you lying next to me  
(How can I see, I see you lying) With words I thought I'd never speak  
(How can I see, I see you lying) Awake and unafraid  
(How can I see, I see you lying) Asleep or dead”

“'Cause I see you lying next to me  
With words I thought I'd never speak  
Awake and unafraid  
Asleep or dead”

“'Cause I see you lying next to me  
With words I thought I'd never speak  
Awake and unafraid  
Asleep or dead”

“I am not afraid to keep on living  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone  
(Or dead)  
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home  
(Or dead)  
I am not afraid to keep on living  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone  
(Or dead)  
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home  
(Or dead)  
I am not afraid to keep on living  
I am not afraid to walk this world alone  
(Or dead)  
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven  
Nothing you can say can stop me going home”

In the choir room

Josh begins to play the chords to Fire and Rain  
“Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone.  
Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you.  
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song,  
I just can't remember who to send it to.  
I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.  
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I'd see you again.”

“Won't you look down upon me, Jesus, You've got to help me make a stand.  
You've just got to see me through another day.  
My body's aching and my time is at hand and I won't make it any other way.  
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.  
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I'd see you again.”

“Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun.  
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around.  
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come.  
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.”

“Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.  
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,  
but I always thought that I'd see you baby, one more time again, now.”

“Thought I'd see you one more time again.  
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now.  
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you, fire and rain, now.”

“Hey, Will you wanted to see me?” Coach Beiste asks

“We wanted you to join us for our first annual ‘Thank God the World Isn’t Ending’ glee practice.” Mr Shue says

“It’s where I can throw Junior Mints at Marley without feeling bad about it again.” Kitty says

“Sit down.” Mr Shue says

“I don’t know Will.” Mr Shue says

“Come on, we’re gonna sing some songs, maybe bust out a few dance moves. I may even rap. Josh, Brittany and Blaine are gonna bust out the acoustics.” Mr Shue says

“Okay.” Coach Beiste says

“All right! Let’s get started.” Mr Shue says clapping his hands together as a burst of gunfire rang out the room goes dead silent then a second burst rang out. “Everyone just spread out and hide spread out and hide. Find a place to hide.” He says as the initial shock wears off as Coach Beiste turns off the lights Mr Shue and Blaine lock the doors while Josh and Sam push the piano out of the way the only sound in the room is the metronome ticking

The next two minutes consisted of a series of snapshots taken at 30 second intervals. Snapshot one would be the first gunman pounding on the door. Snapshot two the door flying into the choir room. Snapshot three Brittany, Josh and Blaine defending someone in the choir room. The final snapshot would be their body’s ragdolling as the rounds power into their body’s Brittany’s body twisting causing the second round to power through her leg Josh and Blaine seem to fold in half. “Oh my god!” Kitty yells reacting first applying pressure to the multiple gunshot wounds three in Josh, Marley to the two in Brittany and Sam the same in Blaine. The blood pooling out under them like a melted cherry but far deeper in colour.

“Somebody get some help!” Sam practically screams three EMT’s come crashing to the choir room

“We’ve got them.” The EMT says lifting them onto the stretchers. The teens screams as they’re moved from the floor to the gurneys

At the hospital

“Three teens incoming. Multiple gunshot wounds. Victim one male nineteen three gunshot wounds once to the abdomen, two in the ribs, below the fifth and the seventh rib. I’ve stopped the bleeding but two of the bullets hit his lungs” The EMT says

“Trauma one then up to OR one.” Head nurse Audrey Lim says

“Victim two female nineteen two gunshot wounds once in the shoulder once in the inner right thigh. She’s lost blood and I can’t tell if it’s hit the bone or not.” A second EMT says

“Trauma two then up to OR two.” Nurse Lim says

“Victim three male nineteen two gunshot wounds both in the chest. I’ve stopped the bleeding but he’s lost a lot of blood. Good news they don’t seem to have hit his lungs.” The third EMT says

“Trauma three then up to OR three.” Nurse Lim says

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna info dump all the stuff I’ve got and then carry on from there


	2. Prologue

A buzzing sound overcomes her senses as she momentarily tunes out what the other nurses are saying. Fear gripped her soul as she tried to regain the ability to breathe normally, this was her job; she was a professional. She had seen families being decimated by car accidents, parents taken away by cancer, friends contracting terminal diseases, children dying before they ever got a chance to truly enjoy life. But these are your kids; Finn’s kids. She quickly shuts down the little voice that keeps nagging at the back of her mind and automatically goes into nurse-mode, these kids need help medically and emotionally, and she wasn’t going to let any of them down or leave them alone.

Sixteen hours later and all eleven students that had been injured during the shooting were stable and in their beds. Her double-night shift was coming to an end, and she couldn’t wait to get back home to her husband. Only five out of the eleven had actually been shot and hurt by the gunman, the rest had gotten injured during the commotion to hide. A shiver seizes her body as she wonders how many more students could have been hurt if Coach Beiste had not tackled the gunman after he was distracted by Will; the two were the heroes of the hour. But they didn’t want any recognition, they just wanted their kids to be okay; and most of them were. Except they weren’t. While only three had been hurt physically, she knew that the others would need countless hours of counselling to help them get over what they had witnessed in the choir room that day. They would have to get over their fear every time they heard a sharp noise, would have to forget seeing the pool of blood underneath their friends. It would take time before they truly felt safe in that school again. It was kind of ironic that the place they used to feel safer in the entire school was now the only room that they designed.

It would take her quite some time as well to forget seeing the three fragile teenagers, bleeding on the white stretchers, crying, afraid, and alone. They looked so young in that moment, their hair black, blonde and brown and skin ghostly white stained with red when they’d first arrived contrasting sharply with the white of the room their faces weathered as if someone had stripped away their innocence and stuffed something new and deeply unsettling in its place their wide eyed look on the world was gone. Mr. Shue was trailing behind them solemnly and she could see that he was trying to be strong for the other kids that had followed to the hospital, he was the leader and he couldn’t afford to be weak in front of any of them. She doesn’t remember clearly what happens next, as if her body was moving on its own accord without her registering what was happening. She remembers stopping the bleeding; on the leg and in the stomach for the young girl, and in the stomach and on the shoulder for the young boy and the ribs and abs of the other boy. They each were shot twice each; that she remembers but I could’ve been more she wasn’t in the operating theatre. She doesn’t remember the reason or how it happened; nor does she really care. It isn’t fair that the two young singers and the young guitarist were shot simply because they were at the wrong place, at the wrong time, wearing the wrong thing. They would probably never be able to wear their white and red uniforms again nor would the other boy wear that t-shirt, white with the Danger Days spider on it purchased at the World Contamination tour in one of the dates in Las Vegas, not because it was ruined but because he was terrified of it, it would only remind them of the time it all been all red, of that time when they distracted a shooter to protect the youngest uniform-clad singer hiding at the back of the choir room.

The day has been draining both physically and emotionally, yet she knows that she has to see them one last time before going home to make sure they are alright and with their family. It’s not because her kids left the house that she doesn’t have a maternal instinct anymore. She grabs her bag and heads for the hospital room where the three teenagers are resting, all refusing to be separated from one another (having a full-blown panic attack when they couldn’t see each other). She silently hopes that their parents have not come to pick them up yet so she can see with her own eyes that they are alright. The scene she arrives at is the exact opposite of what she was expecting.

“I’m sorry all three of you, but we simply cannot let you leave the hospital without an adult.” The nurse watching over the three of them says

“My parents won’t be back for another six months, you’re not going to make me stay here until now are you?” asks the young boy with more bite than usual.

“Mine are gone on their honeymoon -again- I also don’t know when they’re coming back.” Murmurs the young girl, much more quiet than her usual bubbly self.

“And I’ve got no one my mum died recently and I just split from my boyfriend a few months ago. I’ve been making it though.” The black haired tall boy whose hair reaches the middle of his neck and who usually has such a brilliance and optimism to him but that optimism had died says

“Well then we’ll have to wait until a guardian or someone can take care of you, you’re still just kids, we can’t just let you leave all on your own-”

She can see right away that the three teens are not listening anymore as they lean back in their respective beds dejectedly, they want to get out of here; forget about what has happened to them. She can understand their point of view, but with their injuries they wouldn’t be able to take care of themselves.

“They’ll come with me Jackie.” She says before she can stop herself. She should really discuss this with her husband before taking the decision, but she knows he’ll see eye-to-eye with her. Her words immediately startle the three teens who look at her with their big eyes, she can see unshed tears in them and a certain maturity that wasn’t present before the accident.

They don’t even think to argue with her, they know that when she sets her mind to something there is no turning back. Instead they thank her with a small smile and start moving out of their bed, they’re all wearing some baggy sweatpants and sweater that seem quite familiar to her; they probably belong to Sam. She quickly fills out the paperwork and turns back to the three teens, the guys can walk, more like hobble leaning on canes, but the young girl has to be wheeled out of the hospital due to the bullet in her leg.

Well one thing was for sure, this was not how Carole Hudson-Hummel had imagined her day going when she started her shift that morning. Working in the hospital was always unpredictable, but never in her life did she think she’d live a day like today. A day where she helped patch up shot teenagers and leave the hospital with one Brittany Susan Mary Pierce, one Josh Michael Dennis Whyatt and one Blaine Devon Noah Anderson. Yup, not really how she had expected her shift to go.

After a quick call to Burt, to assure him that no student was too bad off and to tell him that she was bringing three home (which he immediately agreed to), she called Sam to ask him to go get clothes for the three injured, he knew his way around all three houses and would save her an awful amount of time.

“You can drive us home Miss Hummel, we’ll be fine by ourselves. There’s no need-“ Blaine starts

“Now you stop that sentence right there Blaine Anderson. First of all, it’s still Carole, no matter what happened between you and Kurt. That goes for you as well Brittany and you too Josh. Second, there is no way I am leaving you three in big empty houses to fend for yourself. You are staying at our house, I’ve already called Burt, and I will hear no complaining. Understood?”

“Yes, ma'am….” Came the mumbled answer from the three teenagers in the back, there really was no arguing with the woman when she set her mind to something.

“Good. Now I heard from the nurses that you two have a problem about being separated so we’ll set you up in Kurt’s old bedroom; he’s got the bigger bed.” Carole says

“NO!” Blaine shouted. “I-I mean…. I c-can’t… He wouldn’t want…. I j-just can’t…” he started mumbling shaking in the back seat until Brittany curled up next to him and started whispering some things to him and Josh seemed to stare straight ahead as if the world wasn’t there or it was crumbling away.

Carol couldn’t hear what was being said, but it seemed to have the desired effect. “It will be just fine Miss- I mean Carole- we’ll stay there.” Replied Brittany after a few seconds with a maturity that she had never displayed. “Just, please, don’t tell Kurt about any of it. Or anyone in New York for that matter, it would probably be better that way.”

“Yes please they can’t know. They don’t need to know because they don’t give a shit about us anymore.” Josh mumbles just barely loud enough to be heard

She can only gave short nod to the young girl; it was a promise she didn’t think she could keep she wanted to care for these three but she also couldn’t lie to people who could still care for them even if they’d hurt them emotionally.


	3. how to make them work again

Lima-Hudson/Hummel House

It was unusual to see the three young babble-mouths silent, but not a single other word was uttered during the car ride. As soon as she pulled the car in the driveway, the older Hummel man came out of the house to help the injured get to safety inside the house. No words were exchanged between the couple, they understood what the other wanted with a single look.

The couple showed the younger ones their room (well Kurt’s really) with fresh bedding before leading each one to a shower. They had had a sponge bath at the hospital but it couldn’t really count as a real shower, the adults stayed in the room in case they were needed; and thank the lord they did.

“That’s enough Blaine, son, if you keep rubbing you’ll remove your skin.” Burt says

“But there’s still blood- it’s everywhere on me in my eyes, in my mouth in my nose, in my hair, everywhere.” Blaine insists

“The water’s not hot enough, it’s not washing it.” Brittany says furiously scrubbing her body

“It’s plenty warm enough Brittany, there’s no more blood dear.” Carole says

“Josh, buddy, stop dunking your head you're gonna drown.” Burt says holding the black haired boy by the shoulders

“Can’t stop. Still blood. On my face. In my hair.” Josh says trying to wrestle from Burt’s grip

“Hey it’s okay. There’s no blood.” Burt says stroking the boys wet hair pulling his face into his chest listening the heart wrenching sobs coming from the boy.

They pulled the three teens forcefully out of the bathtub and dried them, the embarrassment of being naked in front of their friends’ parents completely forgotten. They were like hollow shells, letting themselves be controlled as they were dried, bandaged, dressed, and fed some meds for pain. The only emotion they showed was a small sigh of relief once they all found each other. They quickly curled up in bed, sticking as closely to each other

The next morning

“Hey Carole.” Sam says knocking on the door

“Hey Sam.” Carole says

“I brought some stuff. Josh’s tape deck, Lord Tubbington and Blaine’s watch.” Sam says gesturing to the stereo system in the wagon with a white envelope on topand the pet carrier in his hand 

“Well you know where they are.” Carole says

Upstairs outside Kurt’s room

Sam knocks on the door. “Come in.” A soft voice says

“Hey guys.” Sam says walking into the room to see the three day in the floor Josh attempts to shuffle a deck of cards only for them to fly out of his shaking hands.

“I’m so useless.” He says on verge of tears

“Hey you’re not useless you need to give it time. You think that after Gerard got kicked in the balls by Frank he was okay? No if you watch him he’s limping. You have to give it time.” Sam says gingerly hugging the boy

“Yeah you’re right.” Josh sniffles

“Hey guys I got you some stuff. Brittany I managed to convince Lord Tubbington to get in the pet carrier.” Sam says opening the carrier and out slinks the car which hisses at him. “For Josh I found your Awesome Mix Volume One and your tape deck.” He says gesturing to Burt setting it up. “And for Blaine your watch this was in your bedroom.” Sam says putting the watch on Blaine’s wrist

“Sam?” Josh says

“Yeah?” Sam answers

“Can we listen to some music?” Josh asks

“Course we can.” Sam says warmly popping the taps into the tape deck everything was fine until Sam got up for the toilet and a song that Sam could never have foresaw but the moment the three teens heard the words “So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff Give them all that they can drink, and it will never be enough” it all hit the fan Josh began thrashing sparking panic in the other two and suddenly Josh is on the floor and his glasses have cracked Brittany is screaming her lungs and Blaine has curled into himself mumbling incoherent words. “Carole help!” Sam yells

“What happened?” Carole asks busting into the room

“We were listening to music and it was all going fine till a track came on and then pandemonium. I really need some help. Josh no!” Sam yells as the site of Josh biting himself as Burt arrived with the shots after dosing the three injured with sleeping meds and setting them in bed they all walk down for a conversation

“What happened?” Burt asks

“We were listening to music and it all went wrong when Blood came on they just lost it. I should’ve asked him what was on the tape. Such an idiot.” Sam says dejectedly putting his head in his hands

“Hey you didn’t know. And you made progress, you got them to open up. I’d say the good outweighs the bad here.” Burt says


	4. Chapter 4

Lima- Hummel/Hudson house 

The first day is far from being eventful after the fiasco with the tape they’d been put to bed. Still on a very high dose of pain meds, the three injured sleep for most of the day. Carol wakes up around noon, and eats a bowl of cereal with Sam cross legged on the couch. No words are exchanged between the two, though they silently agree that this will soon become a tradition. When Burt comes through the door at 12:30 for his lunch break, he finds them still on the couch eating in silence in their pyjamas. He doesn’t say anything, goes to the kitchen, grabs a bowl for himself and comes and sit down with them.

“Rachel called.” Sam says bluntly

The spoons stopped moving.

“Asked if we were alright. I told them yes. They said they wanted to come next week for the regional’s competition, I said it was delayed and that they should absolutely not come. I told them that it was Cheerios and a basketball player that were shot… I didn’t lie, you know? I just felt like…” Deep breaths, try to control your tears.

“You did well son. I’ll deal with them if they call again.” He slowly gets up and pick the three bowls putting them in the sink; he’ll wash them when he comes back. He silently hopes his son won’t call or come by, he figures he won’t. New York has changed his boy, and sometimes he doesn’t think that the change is for the best.

The next incident happens while they are trying to have supper downstairs, they hear a sharp cry and they all bolt up the stairs. They arrive to three sobbing mess that are in pain because they made a false movement and hurt themselves. It takes one song and they are calm again. The three caretakers are quite hopeful that their recovery will go well since it was the first incident, Carol decides to lower their morphine dosage since they seemed to be doing fine. She calls in sick for her night shift that night, too tired to even consider going to work.

It was a mistake to lower the pain meds.

The first night is hell. They wake up a total of seven times. Five times because they move too much and hurt their wound. Two times because of the nightmares; those are harder to deal with. Blaine, Josh and Brittany scream and thrash around, stuck in their horrid dream world. They are asleep, yet Burt, Sam and Carol have to hold them down to prevent them from hurting themselves. Sam tries to sing to calm them down, it sounds more like a blubbering mess from all the crying; but it does the job anyways.

They sleep all through the next day, Carol having up their pain med again to allow everyone a small respite. It’s Friday, Burt still needs to go to work that day and brings Sam to distract him, figuring that the three wounded will sleep throughout the day anyhow. They force the two patients to eat breakfast and supper, if only a dry toast. They don’t realise until Carol leaves for work that night, that the three of them have forgotten to eat since they brought the others home. They will, just later?

The second night is not much better.

When Carol comes home on Saturday morning, they realise they are quite in over their heads as they stare at the mountain of dishes and dirty clothes that seem to grow every hour of the day. Sam calls reinforcements and suddenly the house is buzzing with people and it actually seems to help everyone’s morale. Soon Blaine, Josh and Brittany are interacting with others and for a moment they don’t look like empty shells; they’re starting to look alive again.

Sam takes the habit of simply sleeping in the hallway next to their door at night, he hears them better and can calm them down faster that way.

During the 5th night on Monday, he punches a hole in the wall after hearing quiet whispers.

“Why didn’t we die?” The silence of the night is broken by the girl’s voice, for a second Sam wonders if she’s asleep or not.

“I don’t know.” Blaine says

“Would anyone care if we did?” Brittany asks

“I don’t know. Probably not.” Josh says and Sam can almost hear his shoulders slump definitely not asleep, this was a fully-awake conversation.

“I don’t think so…” Blaine says

“Me neither.” Brittany and Josh say in unison

“Maybe they would have all been happier if we’d be gone.” Brittany says

“Wouldn’t have to worry about us screwing up their lives anymore.” Blaine says

“I feel like people are always disappointed with me.” Brittany says

“Because we can’t do anything right.” Josh says

“Are we worth anything to anyone Blaine, Josh?” Brittany asks

“No.” Blaine says

He waits for the conversation to continue before realising they have probably fallen asleep.

When Burt wakes up the next morning there’s a hole in the wall. It’s never said what happened and he doesn’t ask.

During the 6th night, Burt wakes up in the middle of the night and as he puts a blanket on top of Sam’s sleeping form he overhears voices.

“Do you think we deserve what happened to us?” Blaine asks Brittany

“Yes.” Brittany says confidently

“Why?” Blaine says

“Because all we do is disappoint and hurt people, we deserve to suffer for the pain we make them go through.” Brittany says

“We don’t deserve to be loved, do we?” Blaine says

“No.” Brittany says

“What are you talking about?” Josh asks sitting up slowly

“About how our ex’s they’re better off with other people, aren’t they?” Blaine asks almost already knowing the answer

“Yes.” Brittany and Josh say in unison 

“Even if it hurts us so much I want to die?” Blaine asks

“Yes. We deserve it, we hurt them first.” Josh says

“Is anyone ever going to love us?” Blaine asks his two bedmates

“I don’t think so.” Brittany and Josh say in unison again

“Why can’t they love us Brit? Our parents and them…, why don’t they love us?” Blaine asks

“Because we’re useless I can’t even shuffle a deck of cards right.” Josh says

“Because we’re not worthy of their love Blaine. We deserve to hurt for all we did to them.” Brittany says

“Will we ever find love you think?” Blaine asks

“No.” Josh says bluntly

“I thought so too…” Blaine says sadly

He waits a moment after they stop speaking to see if there’s more. After a few moments he realises that they are sound asleep and that hot tears are rolling down his face.

When Sam wakes up he sees another hole above his own on the wall; he never questions how it got there.

The therapist comes by the house during the afternoon, after three sessions she announces that Blaine, Josh and Brittany will try to go back to school on Thursday afternoon. She feels as though they are ready, the occupants of the house know that it’s only a front they are putting up, but don’t mention it.

Sam comes to pick them up during the lunch break to bring them with him. They flinch when they see the metal detectors, but make no comments. They seem genuinely happy to be there and see their school friends. If anyone finds it odd that they are not letting go of each other’s hands; they don’t mention it.

“Is there a glee practice tonight?” asks Blaine during their break.

“Yeah, well more like a small get together in the auditorium. Wanna come?” Sam’s hopeful at this point and he can see Tina and Artie also looking on with a smile.

Brittany, Josh and Blaine exchanged a look before nodding, music had always helped to heal their wounds.

Saturday morning at the Hudson-Hummel household is fairly quiet for once. The occupants having only been woken up once during the night, everyone feels strangely refresh. Carole comes home from work and goes to sleep for a short time (she needs to get back on the day schedule for next week), Sam decides to do the same as Burt takes care of feeding Brittany, Josh and Blaine. All three scarred teens are too tired to stay up, and after trying to do their homework for a while they head back up to sleep off their exhaustion from the day before.

A little after twelve, only an hour or so after Blaine, Josh and Britt went to bed, Carol and Sam got up and went downstairs to eat. This is their tradition now. Carol and Sam will sit on the couch cross-legged and eat their bowl of cereal. If Burt is there he’ll sit in the chair and silently drink their coffee, as he is now. For once the house seems strangely peaceful, and they can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel of pain they’ve been thrust in 10 days ago.

And then their silent moment is broken by the door slamming open.

“I’m home! Surprise!”

Carol and Sam turn their head around staring at reason for their disturbed peace with a dumbfounded expression. They must be dreaming. They can’t be there; not when everything was finally starting to look up. Even Burt is speechless as he stares at his son and his three friends, maybe he should’ve answered that phone call last night…

This could not bode well for anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh sh*t this can’t be good for anyone


	5. Chapter 5

The four intruders who have burst through the door stare silently at the unconventional scene going on in front of them. Sam and Carol are still in their pyjamas with what appears to be a bowl of cereal in their hands, spoon still midair to their mouths. Burt looks equally stunned sitting in his chair, coffee in hand, as he stares at his son and the girls and the other boy.

Carol’s the first to recover, pushing her semi-empty bowl in Sam’s hand and going to greet the New Yorkers. Sam’s brain suddenly switches to on and he goes to put the empty bowls amongst the rest of the dirty dishes, before joining Burt and Carol into welcoming the city dwellers.

“Sam! What are you doing here? We weren’t expecting to see you…I mean of course we were expecting to see you, but more at McKinley when we surprised you guys.” Rachel says

“I think what Rachel means is: what are you doing in my house? …Weren’t you living with Blaine?” Kurt asks

Oh, right. He wasn’t supposed to live here.

However, his brain had yet to start working and he was very thankful when Burt decided to answer the question in his stead: “The Anderson are on a family vacation, we figured it was better for Sam to stay with us and not be alone.” It wasn’t exactly a lie…

“Oh well that’s good I guess. We’ll go drop our things in my room and be right back. Did you have glee practice today Sam?” Rachel asks

“No! I mean yes.” Sam says panicking

Panic mode: activated. Mission: Make sure they don’t see Blaine, Josh or Brittany in Kurt’s bed. Mission status: in progress.

“Which one is it Ken?” Santana asks

“Yes, practice at McKinley in an hour: you should most definitely come. Why don’t I take your bags upstairs to Kurt’s room so you guys can catch up?! I need to get dressed anyways, and it’s the least I can do for letting me stay.” Sam says

“To Finn’s room you mean Sam.” Carol turns to the young Hummel man. “I’m sorry Kurt we put Sam in your room since Finn visits more often. We’ll just change the sheets and you four can stay in his room for the weekend.” Carole says it wasn’t necessarily a lie Sam did stay near Kurt’s room

Without even waiting for an answer, Carole and Sam took their bags and dashed upstairs with a hushed conversation going on between four. Too bewildered to say anything, the three arrivals looked at each other before being led to the couch by Burt who offered them a cup of coffee.

“So what happened? I thought you said you were able to change your ticket dates?” Burt asks

“It sounds like you’re not happy to see us dad. We worked around our busy schedules to make it this weekend.” Kurt says 

Sigh. “I didn’t mean it like that kiddo. Just maybe you should be saving your money?” Burt asks

“No problem there! Santana won a contest and we actually won a rental car for the weekend, we figured we could go through an eight-hour drive to help the New Directions prepare for regionals.” Rachel says

“Ah well, that’s good.” Carole says

An awkward silence followed, the quartet pointedly ignoring the ruckus being made upstairs. Surely changing the sheets didn’t take that long? The girls were being unusually quiet, and Kurt kept observing his father that looked beyond tired. Surely if there was a problem with his health he would have said so? It was probably just the treatments that were tiring. Right?

“Aright guys, let’s go!” Sam yells appearing at the foot of the stairs thank god for Sam and his impeccable timing. Mission successful

The road to their old high school was filled with some small talk, that Sam was obviously forcing himself to do. They pulled in the parking lot and followed the blonde when he led them to the auditorium.

“No choir room speech today?” Rachel asks

Sam freezes. Of course they’d ask that, they weren’t being inconsiderate: they just didn’t know. But didn’t the fact that they never cared enough to ask meant that they did in fact not give a damn about it all?

“No, not today.” He answers with a small head shake. He had promised Burt and Carol he’d play nice this weekend. He was intent on keeping his word (or at least die trying).

When they enter the auditorium all the glee members freeze and stare at them. Too caught up in their own world the New Yorker thinks that the younger teens are simply impressed and happy to see them; they were part of the winning National team last year after all (an important part of the winning team) and they are NYADA students (surely that means something).

Mr. Shue also seems to be happy to see them and warmly greets them. They’re his biggest accomplishment, of course he’s happy to see them.

“It’s so great to see you all! And perfect timing too, you guys can take the spot of our absentees.” Mr Shue says smiling

“Well, Kurt, Fynn and Santana can. I’m actually resting my voice for an audition. I’ll be more than happy to look-on and give pointers.” Rachel says before everyone collectively eye-rolls

“Alright then Kurt will take Blaine’s place, Fynn can take Josh’s and Santana will take Brittany’s.” Mr Shue says

That’s true, Blaine was on vacation with the family. “Where’s Britt?” Santana asks

“Oh, she’s sick! Flu, very contagious so I told her to stay home.” Hands clapped. “Alright everyone in position and let’s get this show on the run.” Sam lies

“And Josh?” Fynn adds

“Broke his foot jumping out of the second floor and is at home resting in bed wanting to prove he could do it. Let’s hope he’ll learn his lesson.” Kitty lies

And just like that everything fell back into place, as if they had never left McKinley. The feeling that they were unwelcomed when they arrived in the auditorium quickly dissipated as they started having fun with the new New Directions. It was a nice change of pace from their everyday lives in New York, and they became briefly nostalgic. All the high schoolers were acting so normal, that none of the outsiders even thought of asking them about the shooting.

“Alright guys that’s it for today! Go enjoy your Saturday night!” Mr Shue says

“You alright there, Lady Hummel? Or was this too hard for you?” Santana asks, slightly flushed herself.

“I’ve missed this.” Fynn pants on the ground. Wheezing like an old dog as he tries to stand

“Come on you old dog.” Rachel says pulling him off the floor

“I'm a drummer, I don’t dance. This hurts.” Fynn says gesturing up and down

“Oh I’m great, you know this is nothing compared to NYADA classes. I was gonna ask how you were; you know since you don’t really perform anymore.” He said catching his breath, the choreographies were more energetic than the ones in Adam’s Apple.

A heated staring contest started between the two friends until Sam spoke up, totally unaware he was interrupting something. “Burt says there is nothing to eat, so we’ll pick up some food at Breadsticks before going home.” Sam says

“Oh, I’ll call him to get his order then.” Kurt says

“No use, he sent it to me.” Sam says

“My dad texts?!?!” Kurt asks shocked

“Well, yeah… You guys ready to go?” Sam asks

Lima, Hummel-Hudson House

They settled around the dining room table, and, after Kurt had grilled his father about not telling him he texted now, had started a small talk around the table. Well actually, it was more like Carol and Burt asking questions while the four expatriate talked about their wonderful lives in New York (it was pretty much a one-way conversation). Sam was finally feeling a little stress leave his shoulder as the diner progressed. Carol had texted him while they were at McKinley that Blaine, Josh and Brittany had gotten up that afternoon to eat and shower. Burt had explained that Kurt, Fynn, Santana and Rachel were staying at the house for the night, they had apparently taken it quite well only asking to not be forced to see them. Carole had given them their pain meds and they all went to sleep, still exhausted from their school day the day before.

It’s not that Sam didn’t like Kurt, Fynn, Rachel or Santana; he actually quite liked them. He just didn’t want to see his three friends be hurt, and if that meant lying and hiding stuff: he would do it in a heart beat.

Just when he thought that the supper would be finished the sound of a broken glass and a thud followed by a shrill yell broke the conversation.

The quartet watched, dumbfounded, as Carole, Burt and Sam rushed upstairs: skipping a few steps. When they decided to follow them, nothing could have prepared them for the sight before them.

Carol was holding down Brittany on Kurt’s old bed. The blonde with a bloodied hand and leg was thrashing around and yelling: “Blood! It’s everywhere. Blood! I’m gonna die! He’s gonna die. We’re all gonna die! BLAINE! BLAINE!!!!!! JOSH!!! HELP US! CAROLE! SAM! BURT!”

Slightly turning their heads, they saw Burt holding Blaine down on the ground. The young man also had a bloody hand (presumably from the broken glass on the ground). And Josh is writhing in pain with a bruise on his head from a fall off the bed with a small amount of blood weeping from it.. Burt was holding his hands while the young man tried to get them free. Unlike Brit, he wasn’t yelling simply mumbling: “Blood. I’m gonna die. Deserve to die. Gonna die. Blood it’s everywhere. Should’ve died. Brittany, blood…” He kept trying to wrestle his way out, and Burt was having a hard time being stronger than the teen while the black haired boy was just writhing and staring blankly.

Sam was trying to clean the blood off of Brittany’s hand, he was singing softly but the tears trailing down his face kept making his voice hitch. After the third time that the young Cheerio pulled her hand free, Carol spoke in a calm voice.

“Blood. I’m gonna die. Deserve to die. Gonna die. Blood it’s everywhere. Should’ve died. Blood… never going home.” Blaine’s mumbles from his place on the floor while Josh seems to be mumbling the lyrics to Helena

“Sam honey, go get the shots in our room: this is a bad one. My night-table; first drawer.” She winced as she received an elbow-jab in the stomach. “Quickly now.”

Sam rushed out the room, barely glancing at the four dumbfounded humans in the doorway. He came back a minute later, holding a small black bag.

“Blood! It’s everywhere. Blood! I’m gonna die! He’s gonna die. We’re all gonna die! BLAINE! BLAINE!!!!!! JOSH! JOSH!!!!!” Brittany screams her head thrashing darting from side to side eyes darting everywhere

“Alright we’re gonna have to switch so I can give the shots.” She started, yelling to be heard above the cries of Brittany. Sam put the little black case at the edge of the bed before moving to the blonde’s side. He locked eyes with Carol as she temporarily released Brittany so Sam could grab her. It looked like a well rehearsed dance, and before they could blink Carol was up and about. She grabbed the black case and pulled a vial with three syringes.

“Hold her arm as steady as possible Sam.” She said approaching the duo. Sam was sitting behind Brittany, his legs keeping hers from moving. He grabbed her right flailing arm as Carol approached, she quickly grabbed it as well and plunged the syringe in it.

“It’ll take a few seconds. Burt can you bring Blaine on the bed?” She asked turning to her husband still on the floor.

“Don’t, ouf, think so. He’s not snapping out.” Burt says taking a blow to the face

“Blaine!!! Blai… Bl…” As Carol crouched in front of the tangle ball of limbs that was Burt and Blaine, the yelling stopped and Brittany’s breathing returned to normal as she collapsed on the bed.

Grabbing Blaine’s arm proved to be much harder, he was stronger and it took a few tries until they finally grabbed it and injected the med directly in his veins. He immediately calmed down, and after a few more seconds he was sleeping in Burt’s arm. Then they turn to Josh as he thrashes on the floor still mumbling the lyrics like a record stuck on a loop. “Burt help me grab him.” Sam says moving off the bed resting Brittany’s head on it

“Here we go.” Carole says as Sam and Burt grab the other boy

“Sam, help me get Brittany off the bed.” Carole says

“I’ll go get some towels. Oh! You kids are here.” Burt says

“What-” Fynn starts perplexed

“After, we’ll explain after. You can go back down.” She went out of the room, coming back with some wet towels. None had moved.

She handed a towel to Sam and one to Burt and kept one for herself, as they got to work on the bloodied hands and heads (again in Brittany’s case) she left and reappeared with some bandages and some clean sheets. Without a word, the injured girl was lifted from the bed and placed next to the injured boys while Carol quickly removed the soiled sheets and replaced them.

Brittany was clean first, Sam quietly removed her pyjama and she was left in her underwear so that Carol could work on the leg wound. Without clothes obstructing, they could see the extent of the wounds of the young girl. One in the shoulder, that had re-opened during the thrashing around, and one of the thigh that seemed to have been scratched until it bled.

The nurse wrapped both wounds while Sam worked on putting some clothes back on the dead weights. On the other side of the bed, Burt worked on removing Blaine’s clothes and bringing to light his two wounds: one in the shoulder, one in the stomach. Josh has reopened the one on his abs and there was blood all across them which Carole discovered when redressing him

“Sam go grab some clean clothes from Finn’s wardrobe please; Blaine and Josh are all out.” Carole say

Carol worked on Blaine’s wound, while Burt carefully tucked Brittany in. Sam returned a second later with some clothes. Both men worked on dressing the young boxer, before tucking him in. When everything was done they all let out a huge sigh of exhaustion. They changed Josh’s blood stained t-shirt and set him back in bed with the other two

“Let’s go down and finish eating.”

“I’m not hungry.” Mumbled Sam.

“I didn’t ask you. You’re coming down and eating son.”

“… Yes, sir.”

“Dad-” Kurt says stunned

“Not here, downstairs. The food is getting cold.” Burt says

“Who cares about the food?! What the-” Kurt tries to intervene

“I said downstairs. Now.” End of conversation.

It was time to come clean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another bomb. Why’d think of that?


	6. Truth and Alcohol.

Lima- Hudson-Hummel house

They settled around the table again, as if nothing had happened upstairs and waited patiently. An unspoken rule was established that no-one would say anything until Burt deemed it fit. The only sound for a while was the utensils rattling against the plates, until the elder’s voice broke the silence.

“They have PTSD.” Carole says bluntly

“Isn’t that something only, like, ex-soldiers get?” Santana asks

“Anyone who lives a traumatic incident can get it. After what they went through last week, it was expected that something like that would happen.” The nurse pipped.

“Why are they here?” Fynn asks

“Because I brought them from the hospital, they had no one to care for them.” Carole says

A thousand thoughts were running through Kurt’s mind, he was feeling guilty and angry at the same time. Guilty that he hadn’t pushed to talk more about it after the shooting, or gotten suspicious after Blaine hadn’t answered his calls for a week. Angry that they had lied to him, Fynn and the girls, when they had called and asked if everyone was alright. Deep breath in, deep breath out; try to find the right words without exploding.

“What the hell are you talking about? We fucking called you and asked you if everyone was okay: you said yes. They are CLEARLY not okay!” yelled Santana, well so much for staying calm.

“Why the hell-!” Sam snaps

“Sam, quiet!” Interrupted Burt. Sam mumbled a silent ‘yes, sir’ before sitting back down and resuming to push his food around his plate.

“And you, young lady, will not talk like that in my house.” He said looking pointedly at the young Latina who was slowly shrinking back in her seat. “No one here lied to anyone, we truly thought they were alright when we first brought them home.”

“Sam said it was just some Cheerios and a basketball player that had been shot.” Rachel offered in a quiet voice, she seemed to be the most level-headed at the moment (for once).

“Blaine and Brittany are both part of the squad. They had their uniform on that day; as did the other victims. Why Josh got shot? We may never know. Perhaps for Josh it was a case of trying to be a hero.” Carole says

“He was always like that.” Fynn says glumly poking his food around his plate with his fork

“Why didn’t you tell us? We called you and you didn’t tell us! Did you stop to think about what this would mean to us? Did you consider our feelings for just a second? Did-” Rachel starts

“Oh would you just shut up!” Sam snaps rolling his eyes

“Sam!” Burt chastises

“What did you just say Trouty Mouth? Cause I’m about to go all Lima Heights on you and you know what happens in Lima Height!” Santana snaps

“Yes, I do! Because I fucking live here and you don’t! You might have left Lima to go chase your dreams, but we’re still stuck in this crap-hole. And life goes on here and bad stuff happens, and it didn’t stop because you left! I’m sorry Burt, Carol, I tried to play nice but this is it! You’re all so freaking selfish it’s unbelievable!” Sam yells

“Excuse me!?” Santana snaps

“You heard me! You are the most selfish and egocentric people I have ever met. This visit for example, you didn’t ask anyone if it was okay for you to come home: you just assumed we wanted to see you!” Sam snaps

“This is our home Sam; we care about the people here.” Kurt says

“But it isn’t! You keep reminding us at every opportunity you can! And clearly you don’t care about any of us, because you haven’t asked a single question since you’ve arrived!” Sam snaps

“Yes-”

“NO! You’ve been here a whole day and you haven’t asked one question. Why don’t we go in the choir room? Why isn’t Kitty wearing her Cheerios uniform? Why am I living here? Why do your parents look like zombies? Where the hell is Finn? Why did Brittany, Josh and Blaine get shot twice in Josh's case more? Why are they saying those kinds of things when they have an attack? Why-” Sam rants

“That’s enough now Sam.” The only calm voice in the dining room interrupts him in the middle of his rant. “Go upstairs and calm yourself.”

Deep breath in. “Yes ma’am.” Deep breath out. “I’m sorry… I really did mean to-”

This time it was Burt who spoke up: “It’s okay son, just go get some rest.”

Kurt waited for Sam to be out of the dining room before speaking up. “That’s it?! That’s all your gonna say? You’re actually letting him speak to me that way? You’re supposed to be MY dad and defend me when someone is spouting horrible nonsense to me.” He stood up brusquely with a huff. “Unless you agreed with everything he said. Of course, because now that I’m gone you just go and replace me.” Kurt snaps

“Kurt that’s not fair.” Burt says

“No! You know what isn’t fair, father? That you just let him say all those things about me and didn’t even flinch! That you lied to me. That’s what’s not fair! I need the get the fuck outta here. Come on, Fynn, girls, we’re gonna go get wasted in little shitty Lima.” Kurt says he doesn’t wait for a response from his three friends, simply storming out of the house. It’s not long after that Rachel, Fynn and Santana follow, the latter slamming the door as she goes. It’s not until they hear the tire screeching and the rental car leaving their driveway that the old married couple let out a sigh of exhaustion.

“He didn’t say it in the right way, but you do know there were some truth under all that Sam said?” she asked her husband, slowly picking up the plates to put them on the counter; they’d be washed later.

“I know; I wish it wasn’t though… I barely recognize my own son sometimes; the city has changed him. And I’m not sure it’s for the better…” Burt says sighing wistfully

“He’ll get through eventually; he just needs to live some things, to grow up.” She links her arm around his shoulder, leaning her head on his. “Come on, let’s get to bed; I don’t think it’s going to be a good night.”

When they stumbled back into the house, it was well over 3am and yet a soft melody could be heard.

“Shhhhhhhhh.” They giggled, quite obviously drunk off their asses. After ranting and bitching they had started drinking at the local bar in Lima. They had only stopped when the bar closed down and they were forced to take a cab back home, rental car forgotten in the parking lot. It was easier to drink and to forget how much Sam’s word had actually hurt them than to man up and come face the music.

As they climbed up the stairs, they could hear the music clearly now.

“I see you at a party and you look the same  
I could take you back  
But people don't really change  
Wish that we could go back in time  
I'd be the one you thought you'd find”

“Love isn't all that it seems  
I did you wrong  
I'll stay here with you  
Till this dream is gone”

As they reached the top of the stairs, they came face-to-face with a very sleepy Carol that had just exited Kurt’s bedroom. Looking behind her they could see Sam siting in front of the bed and singing softly, strumming the melody on his guitar.

She took one look at them and let out a loud sigh before silently telling them to follow her. She led them to the bathroom, where she opened a cupboard with pills and plastic hospital cups.

“Alright, two advils each and a tall glass of water. And I better not find the rental car in the driveway!” Carole snaps

Rachel took the pills and the water glass with her head bowed first. “Thank you, Mrs. Finn. Yourrr niiiiiice even if I’m kinda a big meany to your son.” She slurs without waiting for an answer she quickly bolted out of the room.

Santana quietly took her pills and downed the whole glass immediately. She mumbled a quiet thank you and joined Rachel in the bedroom. Filling another glass Fynn takes it and swallows both pills dry before dumping the contents of the glass in the sink. Filling the last glass, she handed it to Kurt before ushering him out of the bathroom. She gave him a small smile before heading to her own bedroom, she only took a few steps before the voice of her step-son made her stop in her tracks.

“Does it happen often?” He asks clearly, suddenly not as drunk as he seemed.

“It’s a regular thing.”

“As bad as this afternoon?”

“No, that only happens when there’s a trigger. Usually they calm down once Sam sings for them.”

He doesn’t ask more and turns around to head in his bedroom. He doesn’t need to ask what the trigger was today; he knows it’s because of their arrival.


	7. Chapter 7

Lima: Hummel-Hudson household

Kurt loved getting woken up by the sunlight streaming through the window. He would feel the warmth on his face, waking him up just enough to turn around in the bed and snuggle closer to Blaine…

But Blaine doesn’t have long hair like that… and Blaine’s not in my bed! Those were Kurt’s last thought before he woke up with a startle.

He was in bed with Santana and Rachel, and Fynn was on the floor, his quiff a mess all still dressed in yesterday’s clothes. He decided to blame the alcohol for the fact that he kind of wished he had woken up next to Blaine instead of next to his three room-mates. Plus, he had Adam and New York: he was perfectly fine the way things were at the moment and shouldn’t be thinking about his ex-boyfriend.

“For now, I need coffee.” He grumbled before trying to leave the bed discreetly without waking up the two girls and the quiffed boy who probably had as massive a hangover as him.

“Me toooo.” Came a muffled voice on his left. He turned his head to notice that both girls and the boy were wide awake. He immediately noticed that Rachel’s eyes seemed to be red from crying, one look from her told him she didn’t want to talk about it right now, but a wild guess was that staying in Finn’s room was maybe too much for her.

“Urgh help me.” Fynn groans from the floor clutching his temple after sitting up. They very slowly got up from the bed and changed into more comfortable clothing (i.e. sweatpants) before sluggishly making their way downstairs. Even though they didn’t want to have to face the people downstairs, they were in dire need of caffeine to help their hangover. Still in their half-awake state, they passed by Kurt’s old bedroom and failed to notice that the door was wide open and its occupants gone.

They came down the stairs quietly and stopped in the middle when they took notice of the scene that was happening in front of them. Mirroring yesterday’s scene, Sam and Carol were seated cross-legged on the couch eating a bowl of cereal. Burt was nowhere to be seen, though some shuffling could be heard in the kitchen. What was the most striking about the scene unfolding in the Hummel-Hudson living room, was the three young teenagers seated on the floor in front of the couch. They all looked terrible. Blaine’s hair wasn’t gelled down and his curls were all over the place, his glasses did nothing to hide the dark circles under his eyes, and he was still wearing Finn’s old clothes that made him look so very thin and sickly. Brittany was not in a much better state, with her hair loose around framing her face, dark bags were also present under her lifeless eyes. And Josh looks the worst of the three he usually tamed but striking hair is wild and unstriking his eyes are bloodshot and are ringed with a deep purple hue and he appears to be swaying back and forth in his spot on the floor and his clothes make him look like Blaine thinner and sicklier than usual his glasses appeared to have a crack in the left lens evidently when he’d be wearing them and had a panic attack or been hit by one of the others. Blaine was munching on what appeared like a dry piece of toast, while Brittany had apparently finished her toast and was working on an apple and Josh was staring at his toast like it was holding a gun to him and threatening to kill him if he didn’t give him everything. Complete comfortable silence filled the room as everyone was eating their breakfast. Silence that was broken by the creaking of the stairs that Kurt made when he took a step down. Suddenly there were six pairs of eyes on them; frozen in shock as they stared at each other.

And then Brittany was sprinting to the kitchen, where she proceeded to empty the content of her stomach in the sink. Santana was the first to snap out of her stupor and raced down the stairs to rush to her ex-lover’s side. Unfortunately Josh was stuck in his head and vomits on his toast, the floor and his legs “Burt we need the vomit kit!” Sam yells

“Who was it this time?” Burt asks walking into the room

“Josh.” Carole says

“Hey Britt, you okay?” She said approaching her, but as she reached out to stroke her shoulder the blonde snapped away from her.

Many people have accused her of not having a heart throughout the years, but at that very moment Santana knew she most definitely had one since she heard it break into pieces. Brittany was looking at her with a look of absolute terror in her eyes, as if Santana’s touch would kill her on the spot. Her blue eyes were darting from side to side, looking for comfort. Without a single word, she sprinted back to the living room and latched onto Blaine’s arm as if her life depended on it Josh sensing the need for closeness hugs the other two without getting vomit on them

Kurt and Rachel approach the kitchen as if nothing has happened, and silently reach for the coffee pot before taking a seat at the dining table while Fynn helps Burt clean the black haired boy up.

“Why don’t you guys go take a shower?” Burt’s voice finally breaks the silence as he looks at the occupants of the living room.

Sam gets up and grabs the dirty dishes before setting them up on the pile, with the other dirty dishes. When he returns to the living room he grabs Blaine and Josh’s hands and leads them both upstairs, followed closely by Carole holding Brittany’s hand.

An awkward silence once again reigns over the house, none wanting to question why Blaine, Josh and Brittany need to be accompanied to be showered. Burt slowly gets up to fill his coffee cup and leans by the counter looking at his son with a disappointed glare.

“If you are waiting for an apology, you’ll be waiting for a long time, dad.” Comes the clipped response.

A deep sigh. “I know.”

“I mean; Sam says we’re selfish. But you guys aren’t really any better. We might not know everything about life in Lima, but you don’t know more about life in New York.”

“Let me stop you there, kiddo. We know everything about your life in New York. I know all about your NYADA classes. About all the parties you attend. About karaoke night every Friday at the bar down the street. About your neighbors: the creepy looking one, the one who’s probably a prostitute, the old lady that you haven’t seen in months and is probably dead in her flat.” Burt says

“Everyone knows about that!” Interjects Rachel, since Kurt seemed too stunned to answer.

“Really? So everyone knows that you have a thing going on with your T.A in NYADA Rachel? Or about Santana and her girlfriend Dani from college, or the diner where you all started working recently? Or even the fact that my son has a boyfriend and didn’t think it was worth it to mention it to me? Or Ben and Fynn starting a band and using Josh’s lyrics for his album? Or maybe about all the times you guys get drunk and high every other week? All the idiotic decisions you make: the tattoos, the drugs; EVERYTHING!” Burt stopped. His anger was palpable and he had to stop himself before he started saying things that he would regret.

Horror struck the face of the four young adults. How did he know all of that? It was all true… They were getting caught up in the frenzy that was New York, and enjoying most of it. The alcohol, the occasional drugs, the sex…. All of it. And if Kurt’s dad was aware…. How many people knew? Rachel’s dads? Santana’s family? Their old friends? Fynn’s dad? Fynn’s brother? Who else?

“We know all about it. We live in a house full of teenagers; news gets around. The only reason why I, or anyone for that matter, never mention it; is probably because we didn’t want to believe it was true.” Another sigh, all the weight of the emotions was starting to take its toll on him. He sits down at the table, at the opposite end of the three gaping teenagers. “We don’t recognize you kids anymore; you’ve changed. And it’s okay to change, you’re growing up after all. And it okay to try new things; but you mustn’t forget who you really are. Stop trying to pretend; and just be yourself. And if people don’t like who you really are, then they can go and screw themselves!”

No answer was offered to the older man in the room. Of course they were aware they were changing, but they simply got caught up in the excitement of New York city. Their behavior was a touchy subject that they didn’t really enjoy speaking about, too many judgments from too many people. But in the end, whose opinion really mattered?

Before they could answer Burt’s questioning (did he really want answer or was it rhetorical), the silence of the house was broken by the front door slamming open.

“Morning Mr. H.” Sugar says walking in the door after the Glee helped clean up the house they’d all received keys to help the Hudson-Hummels and Sam

Burt turned his head. “Good morning Sugar, Unique. They’re showering, the rooms are cleared.”

They quickly said ‘thanks’ while climbing the stairs and continuing their small talk up the stairs. Before they could come down, the door once again opened and suddenly Marley and Kitty were in the household. Their hands were full of containers of what appeared to be food and they were talking as if what was going on was normal right now.

“Let’s move to the living room, we'll be in their way.” Says Burt, gesturing them to move away from the dining room. “Good morning girls.”

The two looked up and greeted him before continuing their small talk.

“I’m just saying you have to be careful.” 

“Why just because he’s older?”

“No, because of the reputation he has. He cheated like multiple times.”

“We don’t know that for sure, those are just rumors spread by the football idiots.”

“Come on Kitty, you know that rumors always have a bit of truth.”

“I know… Anyways it’s nothing serious right now, we’re just enjoying each other’s company.”

Suddenly the whole house seemed a buzz around the four New Yorkers who were befuddled in the living room: Kitty and Unique came down the stairs, each holding a basket of dirty clothes; Marley and Kitty got to stocking the fridge with some food and cleaning the dirty dishes. Burt seemed, for the first time, finally to be relaxing while the New Directions were completing chores around the house.

Before they could ask what was going on, the door opened once again to reveal Artie and Tina with their school bags. They quickly greeted everyone before installing themselves at the dining room table and taking out their homework. They were joined a few moments later by Sam, Blaine, Josh and Brittany; the latter of the four with wet hair fresh from the shower.

Carole came down and plopped herself onto the couch next to her husband before looking at the kids. “You guys should go take a shower. You can borrow my car to go get your rental downtown.” Burt says

They nodded and headed off, this situation was simply too much for them to process.

When they returned with the rental car, none of them had yet to address what had happened that morning in the Hudson-Hummel household. As they pulled up, they could see that one other car had appeared in the driveway. It was an old Mustang that seemed in quite a bad shape. They got out of the car to take in the scene in front of them, still too stunned to say anything.

Burt and Joe were working on the old Mustang; Ryder, Jake and Sam were throwing a football around; Unique, Sugar, Kitty and Marley were busy folding sheets (why were they doing that outside?); Tina and Carol were sitting in the lawn chair talking with Artie; and Brittany, Josh and Blaine were huddled under the tree almost afraid of the sunlight but Josh was watching the car with rapture classic cars was a passion of his before he’d gotten shot.

It looked like a scene out of a movie, with everybody looking the happiest that they had looked in a while. Everything just looked so familiar and comfortable that a pang of jealousy hit the quartet. Even more so, when Kurt, Fynn and Santana noticed the way that Blaine, Josh and Brittany were seated. With Brittany on Blaine’s lap and Josh with his head on Blaine’s shins, they looked like three lovers enjoying the sunny day.

“This doesn’t feel like home anymore.” Kurt says

“We don’t really have a place here now do we?” Fynn asks

“We should leave; we have an 8 hours drive.” Santana says

“Agreed.” Rachel says


	8. Surprises and Suicide Attempts

New York City

The drive back home had been very quiet, with the occasional snarky comment here and there where they were mostly trying to convince themselves that they were not in the wrong. It’s not that they really felt so much better than anyone, moving to the city had been quite hard for them too. It was just easier to pretend as if everything was fine, as if they were on top of the world and better than everyone; because the reality was far from it.

Santana still didn’t know what to do exactly with her life, and was still crashing at Kurt and Rachel’s place. She did enjoy the company of Dani very much, the young woman was nice and caring. She wasn’t too haughty, and was very good at calming her when Snix wanted to come out. She didn’t forget about Brittany and the look of absolute fright when she had tried to touch her. The Latino had tried to text her friend on a few occasions, but it was still radio silent on the blonde’s side. She had tried to text Quinn to see if she had any news, but had been disappointed with the answer. Fynn was working on his album A Bit of Fun in Hot Space and dating Ben he was a good guy but seeing Josh has changed their relationship and had broken his songwriting he was stuck halfway through his album

To Quinn: What’s up with Brit’s parents?

From Quinn: Hello to you too Santana, it’s lovely to hear from you. I’m afraid I don’t understand your question, things with her parents are same as usual.

To Quinn: Then why the hell is she living with Procelain’s family?

From Quinn: Isn’t it obvious?

To Quinn: If it was I sure wouldn’t be asking now would I?

From Quinn: It’s the same as always: they just don’t care.

To Quinn: Wdy mean same as always?

From Quinn: Come on San, do you really think good parents would let their daughters get a 0.0 GPA?

Santana stared at her screen flabbergasted, how could she had never noticed? Sure, Brittany’s parents were always a little off, but they meant well.

From Quinn: Look, I need to go to class. I’ll talk to you later. You might want to call her, she sounded much better when we talked last time. She could use a friend.

She let a sigh escape her lips before pocketing her phone and leaving the apartment. It was easier to ignore all the feelings that she was feeling, than dealing with; at least for now. She’d fix this when they go back for regionals.

Rachel took a different approach to dealing with her guilt: she ignored it completely. True to her nature, she dived into her classes at NYADA and resumed enjoying her budding relationship with Brody. Did she think about Finn? Yes, all the time. Did she tell anyone about it? No, never in a million years.

And Fynn as he had stated previously was throwing himself into his album but he was stuck now after his chance meeting with his PTSD ex-boyfriend

While the four of them had silently agreed to be better people, Kurt was the one trying the hardest. They had all stopped the excessive partying, drinking and other substances consumption; trying to find back their identity. He had taken a silent vow to talk more to his dad; his disappointment had hurt more than anything else he had ever lived. So, the regular phone calls, and even the odd texts here and there, returned. Kurt made sure that his dad knew all about his life; even his semi-relationship with Adam (he still wasn’t too sure about that one). But most of all, he had tried to reach out to Blaine once more. Yet, for all the texts and calls he had made, he hadn’t received an answer. Until he did.

From Blaine: Stop.

To Blaine: Stop what? Please Blaine, I just want to help. I told you before, you’re still my best friend.

From Blaine: Just stop Kurt. This really isn’t helping him.

To Blaine: Him? Who to hell is using his phone?

From Blaine: Finn.

Getting slightly riled up that his half-brother was preventing him from talking to Blaine, he picked up the phone and quickly called the cellphone of his old lover. Finn picked up after the first ring, but didn’t speak.

“Finn, what the hell? Put Blaine on.”

“No Kurt, there’s no chance that I’ll be doing that. You have to stop trying to talk to him.”

Sigh. “Finn, I just want to talk to him. I saw how in bad shape he was last week; I want to help him. I still-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Finn spat out with anger in his voice.

The hate seeping through Finn’s voice froze Kurt on the spot and rendered him speechless. He had rarely heard his brother so angry, and frankly it was not a situation he liked being in.

“I-I mean; you don’t how it was Finn! You weren’t even there! In fact, why in the world do you have Blaine’s phone.”

“True I wasn’t there, but I am now.” What remained unsaid was the you are not, yet Kurt heard it loud and clear. “He’s not allowed to have his phone right now, he’s doing well and he doesn’t need you right now.”

“How can you say that? You don’t know how he feels; you don’t know what we have? Why would I not be allowed to talk to him, but you are? TELL ME WHY?!” He yelled.

“BECAUSE WE FINALLY GOT HIM TO STOP TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF!!! And YOU will just ruin everything! He’s in a fucking bad place and we’re trying to pull him out of the shadows. You talking to him will just bury him back there. You. Are. Not. Helping. Don’t call again.”

The line went dead as Finn hung up and Kurt was left to stare at his phone in the middle of his loft; alone. He was still trying to process what had been said. Was Blaine really in such a bad place that he was attempting to-? Just the thought and image was enough to send Kurt running to the bathroom where he proceeded to empty the content of his stomach. He quickly cleaned himself up, sent a quick text that he had a migraine and didn’t want to be disturbed, and curled up on his bed crying himself to sleep.

When he woke up, the nauseous feeling he had yesterday was still very much present. He had tried to call Finn once again, but he was convinced the latter had blocked his number. Realistically he knew that he couldn’t go back to Ohio this weekend, he had work to do and midterms coming up as well. He would have to wait until Spring Break when they’d go up to Lima for regionals. In the mean time, he had to do everything he could to occupy his mind and not think about what state Blaine could be in.

He took every possible shift at the dinner, stayed at school to practice at every opportunity, and even took some extra credit work when possible. If the girls noticed that he was busier than usual and that he was running himself down; none commented on the situation. As for the Adam situation… well that was a problem he had yet to fix. He knew very well that he did not have any romantic feelings for the Brit, but he didn’t quite know how to tell him. The last time he tried to break up with him, when they had returned from Ohio, it had not quite gone how he had planned as Adam had instead blurted out that he loved him. Feeling too cheap to dump him then and there, Kurt had simply smiled and said that he wasn’t ready to say it now. Since then, he had tried as hard as he could to distance himself and ignore the cute blonde; hoping that he would get the message. He did not.

On his way to studio on his day off a few days before Spring Break Fynn pulled out his phone and decided to text Josh he’d tried to get in contact with Josh before but had received no answer till like Kurt he did

To Josh: Hey I wanted to let you know that I’m recording a cover of Disenchanted

From Josh: Fucking stop

To Josh: Who is this?

From Josh: Sam now stop

Feeling infuriated at the inability to contact his ex boyfriend Fynn stabs down on Josh's number and waits for a reply. “Sam put Josh on the damn phone!” He snaps

“No. You need to stop contacting him.” Sam answers calmly

“What? Why? Tell me why I should contact him?” Fynn asks

“Because he’s finally stopped trying to drown himself in the motherfucking bath!” Sam snaps

“Okay. Finn I’ll stop but if you get the chance tell him that I’m sorry and that I’m recording Disenchanted.” Fynn says before hanging up

A little more than a week later, on the Friday morning that kicked off Spring Break, Kurt, Rachel, Fynn and Santana stood frozen in the middle of the airport as they stared at their “better halves” of New York.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Kurt asks stuttering

“You guys have been so stressed since coming back last time, we figured maybe you’d like some backup this time. Surprise!”

“Oh shit!” Fynn murmurs quietly to Santana

“Oh shit indeed.” Santana answers

Surprise indeed. Was it a good one? Well that depends on who you ask.


	9. Revelations

Lima, Ohio- McKinley high school

The plane ride had been a whole new level of awkwardness for Kurt. Under no circumstances did he want Adam to come home with him, especially if he wanted to fix things with Blaine. Santana and Rachel, even Fynn, after their initial shock, had seemed genuinely happy to have their significant other present for their week-long trip to their hometown. At least they had been until Kurt had decided to burst Rachel’s bubble by mentioning that Finn was back home. She had suddenly grown quiet and had refrained from talking the rest of the trip. It was petty that he had decided to make Rachel as miserable as him, but it did make him feel better about his situation.

Adam had decided to spring another surprise on them when he revealed that Brody and him had decided to rent a van for the week, so that they could get around town easily all together. Kurt had immediately taken the wheel and resumed his silent treatment with Rachel sitting beside him. The closer they came to Lima, the more condescending (at least to Kurt it seemed) their comments about how charming their hometown got. By the time they pulled up to their old school’s parking lot, Kurt was getting more than pissed off from all the comments and couldn’t wait to get out. He didn’t need to be reminded just how quaint everything was and oh how different from New York it was.

As they were getting out of the car, a shiny black Land Rover pulled up next to them. In a moment of panic, they thought it was Vocal Adrenaline who had come to screw things up once more. However, it was much worse as they saw Sebastian and a few other Dalton boys, out of their uniforms, climb out of the car. They were joking around until they spotted the other group present in the parking lot and they suddenly grew quiet. Shock registered on their faces as they took in sight of the others.

“What the hell are you doing here Twink?” said Santana with a snort.

Sebastian seemingly much calmer than they had ever seen him, he answered the question softly without any venom in his tone. “We’re transferring here.”

“Got tired of losing?” The New Yorkers laughed, not quite believing the situation.

“Who do you think you are?” came the scream of one of the Warbler. “Do you think we’re so petty?”

The agony present in the scream shocked even Santana who grew quiet as she watched Sebastian put his hand on the boy’s shoulder to calm him down before answering the question very calmly. “Dalton burned down to the ground. McKinley was nice enough to allow us to transfer here.”

Well, shit. So much for turning a new leaf and not coming off as snarky. Before they could stutter their apology, the ex-Warblers quickly disappeared inside the school. Once more, they had forgotten that life was still happening and bad things are not a rare occurrence in life.

Still feeling very guilty for their senseless comment, they made their way inside the school to see the New Directions. They passed by the choir room, finding it wide open; but with no one inside.

“You practiced here? How very quaint! I mean no wonder you think NYADA’s installations are great, this is…” Adam started laughing before finishing his sentence, with Brody and Ben joining in as they critiqued McKinley.

By the time they reached the auditorium, Kurt was positively fuming from all of the comments from Brody, Ben and Adam. Sure, McKinley wasn’t a rich and posh school, but it was his high school and he had great memories here. Rachel and Santana gave the impression that the comments were not affecting them as they laughed in with the other, quipping here and there an anecdote of their high school years. Kurt hummed when a question was directed his way, but kept quiet otherwise. In his mind he kept trying to picture the shooting and how it had happened, silently wishing that he could have been there for Blaine.

When they arrived at the auditorium, surprisingly, it wasn’t Mr. Shue that greeted them, but a smiling Finn. Kurt had texted him before leaving New York, mentioning that they would have some extra people accompanying them. He had a feeling that surprises were not a great thing for Blaine, Josh and Brittany.

“Hi guys! How was your flight and um… drive?” he said, standing a bit awkwardly in front of them.

Kurt seemed to be the only one to respond as he moved to hug his brother and quickly introduce the four new people with them. He hadn’t told the girls or Fynn that Finn was helping with the glee club, he secretly wanted to see their baffled face when they saw him.

“Where’s Mr. Shue?” Asked Rachel, obviously uncomfortable by the whole situation.

Finn didn’t seem to like her question as he started rubbing his neck nervously. “Oh, um… Meeting with Sue actually. We need some money… for clothes for tomorrow!”

“You didn’t get the dresses yet? Aren’t you cutting it a little close?” Shrieked Rachel.

The young man looked even more uncomfortable than before as he answered: “No we got the dresses and the guy’s clothes… We just decided to go with long sleeves instead, we’ll go buy them this afternoon so no biggie... Anyways we don’t really need to practice for tomorrow.” The last part was said confidently as Finn looked proudly over to the bunch of teenagers who seemed to be doing everything but practicing.

“You sure, mate? Cause from my point of view you seem to be needing it.” Interrupted Adam. “I’m the leader of a glee club myself; Adam’s Apple. I would never allow them to fool around like that in rehearsal.”

“I agree; their dancing looks sloppy at best. I’m an assistant teacher at NYADA, I can see potential.” Added Brody looking particularly smug.

“And their timings off I play rhythm guitar and they’re off by about a bar every fourth step. Ben Hargreeves” he says shaking Finn’s hand

It was true to an outside eye the group looked everything but ready. Blaine and Marley were sitting at the piano strumming the keys; Brittany was practically seated on Sebastian’s lap as they seemed to be critiquing the dancing of Spencer, Joe and Sam; Unique, Tina and Kitty were fiddling around with some purple dresses, Josh was strumming hard his Gibson Les-Paul seated almost naturally across his body with Jake playing acoustic and Ryder drumming the tune was familiar Disenchanted; and Artie, Sugar and the Warblers seemed to be playing some sort of game. To an outsider it looked like chaos, to Kurt, Fynn, Rachel and Santana, it reminded them of every competition they ever did; everyone had their own way to de-stress before a show.

Finn’s smile strained at the boy’s comments, as Kurt rolled his eyes and prepared a snarky remark. Before he could open his mouth, their old teacher came trotting in the auditorium; obviously happy to see them all.

“You’re already here!? It’s so good to see you!” he smiled, greeting everyone with the same joy. He briefly turned to Finn, after having exchanged pleasantries: “Sue gave us the money Finn. Think you can bring everyone at the mall later on to buy things?”

“Yep, no problem. We’re pretty much done anyways.” He said, ignoring the pointed look that Brody and Adam were giving each other.

“What song are you doing at the competition tomorrow? We figured we could help, you know with us being NYADA students and recording artists and all.” Said Rachel, still pointedly ignoring Finn.

“That’s a surprise! We can’t show you before the show, but maybe we can give you a nationals’ preview.” Mr. Shue said with a wink before getting everyone’s attention. “Alright guys, I’ve got news huddle up.”

The group stopped what they were doing, before huddling up to the front of the stage to listen to their teacher.

“Alright, so bad news first: as we suspected, Sue couldn’t get the transfers approved in time for the competition tomorrow.” A general sigh of disappointment came over the New Directions. “I know, I know. We’ll have to do without the Warblers for this one, but they’ll be transferred in time for Nationals!”

“And we’ll still come cheer you guys on; so you better win!” Said Sebastian as everyone cheered around him. Kurt thought he looked like a completely different person than last year, much more calm and mature. Santana for her part, renewed her hatred for him as she found Brittany hanging a little too close to him for her liking.

Adam leaned into Kurt and whispered into his ear: “Little preposterous of them to already think they’ll make it to national, no?” The young man simply huffed and weakly nodded, and turned his attention back to the stage. He could have said what was on his mind, however he didn’t want to cause a scene in front of everybody.

“I think we should show our guest, what the new and improved glee club looks like.” Said Finn with a grin.

“I agree with you Finn. Anyone has a number they’d like to present?”

“I think the boys should do Fighter.”

A chorus of yeah erupted from the auditorium as everyone turned to Sebastian and Blaine who were smiling at each other.

“Great idea Tina!” Replied Finn. “Since we have professionals here they can tell us if anything is wrong with Mike’s choreography.”

“Mr Shue, I have something.” Josh says

“Yeah? Shoot buddy.” Mr Shue says his face warm and kind

“Well it’s up to Britt and Blaine but I was wondering could the three of us do My Chemical Romance’s, the Kids From Yesterday? I mean not now but at Regionals, maybe?” Josh asks

“Well, er, that depends on whether they want to? What do you say guys?” Mr Shue asks

“I think that it’s time to be back out front.” Blaine says

“We’d better find our guitars hadn’t we?” Brittany says with a slight chuckle

While Adam, Brody and Rachel were positively beaming with the praise, Kurt and Santana had quickly realized that Finn didn’t really mean it as a compliment, but rather; he was mocking them.

The girls quickly gathered together in the front seats and made sure that Brittany was surrounded by them; they hadn’t plan that Santana simply wouldn’t care.

“Hey Britt.” She said, surprisingly softly for her, as she found a way to go around the girls and approach her.

“Hi.” Was the weak response before she turned around clutching Kitty’s hand, the latter who was positively glaring at Santana.

“You got a problem with me blondie?” Santana asks

“Several actually, but I promised to behave so I’ll keep them to myself.”

Before Santana could answer, Dani put her hand on her elbow and guided her to a seat. “Let’s not cause a scene.”

“Yeah, sit with us. Let’s look how good the little glee club think they are.” Adam said with a laugh.

They were good. Actually better than good. Blaine and Sebastian were singing it as a duo and it was unbelievably good. The choreography, true to Mike’s talent, was incredibly precise and well executed. The Warbler’s style was also incorporated into the movements with a more technical dance than what was usually known from the New Directions.

Kurt felt Rachel squeeze his hand as tears sprung to his eyes, listening to the lyrics was killing him inside. Every word was resonating so deeply with how he was feeling, and the way that Blaine and Sebastian seemed to enjoy each other; was not helping Kurt’s feelings. He did, however, feel so proud to watch him dance and see the stunned look on Brody and Adam’s faces. They had nothing to say about the routine, it was perfect.

“They’re good.” He heard Rachel whisper.

“Better than we ever were.” He responded. “They’re singing as a unity.”

The number was not simply concentrating on the soloist; everyone had a part and that’s what made it that much more special.


	10. Mall Break Ups

Lima, Ohio -Mall

For some reason, they found themselves following the teenagers to the mall to buy the long sleeves necessary for tomorrow’s competition. Rachel kept arguing that it would probably be better to go with short sleeves, as they had during last years’ nationals. Kurt had kept his mouth shut, although he had a very good idea of why they needed to cover the arms of certain people. It wasn’t his place to say, so he let Rachel rant to Adam who was talking about the different attires that the Adam’s Apple had had.

Kurt was trying so very hard to keep his calm, but he was finding it harder than ever. In fact, the more that he thought about it, he realized that Adam and him had never truly spent so much time together. Now that they were spending so much time in each other’s company, it seemed that every little thing that had ever bugged him about the English boy was coming back full force.

They were bringing their purchase to the cash register, the girls had picked up some black long sleeve boleros, while the boys had settled on simple black cardigans except for Josh who said he’d bring his own leather jacket, when they heard the live band coming for the plaza next to the store. The teens glanced at each other before dumping their shirt on the counter and running to the center.

“What in the world are they doing?” asked Brody.

“Enjoying life.” Said Finn, clearly amused by the situation. He handed the platinum (presumably the school’s) credit card to the bored cashier “You guys should try it sometimes.”

“Oh trust me mate, we do plenty of enjoying in the city.” Answered Adam cockily.

Finn picked up the bags and hummed: “Clearly not, or you wouldn’t be so stuck up.”

Kurt snorted as he followed Finn, while the others seemed to ignore the last comment, outside just in time to hear Blaine bust out the first notes of a song.

“We-eee-eeel…..  
You know you make me wanna (Shout!)  
Kick my heels up and (Shout!)  
Throw my hands up and (Shout!)  
Throw my head back and (Shout!)”

A smile crept on the former Lima resident’s face; this was what glee club was all about: impromptu singing to have fun. Santana had her eyes glued on Brittany that seemed to be truly smiling for the first time, as she danced with Sam and sang along to the song. Fynn chuckled as he watched his ex-boyfriend throw his feet, clad in his classic suede boots, up in the air as he dances with Unique laughing and enjoying himself. The New Yorkers had always referred to Josh and Unique as two of a kind. Rachel reminisced about the intervention that the New Directions had for her in the same mall when she thought about changing her nose, they had reminded her that she was perfect the way she was, no need to change. Both girls and the quiffed boy felt a sudden wave of happiness rush through them as they watched and enjoyed the performance. Kurt, on the other hand, had conflicted emotions. While he was delighted to see all of them enjoying themselves and being carefree, he was less than pleased when he saw how well Blaine and Sebastian were getting along. It didn’t matter to him that the meerkat face Warbler had seemingly changed; he still didn’t like him. Or maybe he didn’t like the fact that Blaine seemed so relaxed and happy next to him, but so guarded and sad every time he looked at Kurt.

“How juvenile!” snorted Adam.

“I can’t believe this, it’s totally like 2010.” Joked Brody.

Finn sighed loudly and dumped the bags at their feet before turning around: “Like I said: stuck up.”

“Now wai-a-ait a minute!  
I feel aaaaaallllllright  
Now that I got my woman  
I feel aaaaaallllllright”

As Finn spun Kitty so she had her back to his chest, the frown on Rachel’s face got bigger as she crossed her arms and pouted. Swear to god, the woman was actually pouting! Kurt rolled his eyes at her, and picked up the bags that Finn had just recently dumped.

Then the songs over and it changes to My Chemical Romance’s Sing. Fynn gives a thin smile at his ex boyfriends choice

“Sing it out  
Boy, you've got to see what tomorrow brings  
Sing it out  
Girl, you've got to be what tomorrow needs  
For every time that they want to count you out  
Use your voice every single time you open up your mouth”

“What’s next are they gonna do a lip dub?” Adam quipped, making Brody and Ben burst out with laughter.

That was the final straw.

“Will you shut the fuck up?” Kurt snaps

They all turned towards Kurt who very rarely cursed.

“B-baby what’s wrong?” Adam asks

“Shut up! I told you to never call me that!” Ah, the famous fight of November, as Rachel had dubbed it. When Kurt had forbidden Adam to ever call him that; without really giving him a valid reason. He couldn’t very well tell him it was because that particular nickname was reserved for his ex-boyfriend now, could he?

“And you are what is wrong! God, you are so annoying and conceited it’s unbelievable. You think you’re all that and at the top of the fucking world; well you’re not.” He was on a roll, everything was just coming out of his mouth; swear words and truths. “We haven’t even been here for 24 hours and you’ve ridiculed everything that I love. That little glee club of amateurs, as you call them, could kick you Apple’s ass in their sleep! How conceited must you be to name your glee club after you, who does that? And they are NOT being juvenile; they are enjoying life; if you didn’t have a stick up your ass, maybe you would try it once in a while!” Kurt yells blowing up

“And Ben you have never seen what the broken man can do? ‘Those three they’re saviours of the beaten, the broken and the damned and one day they’ll lead that Glee Club into the summer to join the Black Parade’ of back to back Nationals wins. And everyday those three survivers ‘get up and go and make life become incredible’ because that’s what they are and you’re are a worthless fucking nothing.” Fynn says

“Did - did you just quote ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ on us?” Santana asks

“And was that Planetary (GO)?” Rachel asks

“Yes I did. And yes it was.” But seriously all you think about is yourself.” Fynn says his tone deathly calm

“Kurt, maybe you should stop and have this discussion at home.” Said Rachel in her motherly tone, the one where she made sure he knew she disapproved of his behavior.

“No, I. Will. Not. Because I don’t want him in my house, I don’t want him to meet my dad or Carol or Finn or Mr. Shue or any of my friends.”

“W-hat? But I came all the way here for you; because we’re in love!” Adam says

“I didn’t ask you! You arbitrarily chose to come; to surprise me. Which, if you ever listened to anything I say, you would know that I hate! I don’t like surprises Adam! Especially not ones where you come to my hometown and criticise everything and everyone. You think you are so much better than everyone here, why? Cause you live in New York? Well let me tell you, these people are a thousand time and more; better people than you will ever be!” He stopped to breathe as tears starting to sting his eyes, there were too many emotions surfacing at once for him to handle. “A-and I may have lost my way for a while in New York, I may have become a self-centered jerk like you; but I am trying; I want to be better. I want to be me again; a kind individual that doesn’t judge people based on school gossip, that doesn’t mock others, that doesn’t think he’s better than anyone else. Coming back here just reminded me of all that!” Kurt yells

“Ditto. As Freddie once said to Paul Prenter ‘I want you out of my life.’ Now!” Fynn snaps

“You’re just acting up because we’re here; where you have so many bad memories. We’ll be fine once we’re back in the city; you’ll be back to normal!” Adam yells back

He could see Finn making his way back, the song was over; he needed to wrap this up.

“No, because you don’t know the normal me. I’m not who you think I am Adam. The guy I was pretending to be in New York for a while; it’s not me. I have the best memories of my life here; I don’t hate it as much as I pretend. I don’t like parties; I like staying in and watching movies. I don’t like practicing with the Adam’s Apple; frankly I think you guys suck. I hate that you are always telling me how to dress, or the fact that you always chose what we eat, or that you always have something degrading to say about every single student at NYADA. And I am most certainly not in love with you; never have been.” Kurt says his tone coming back down

“And you didn’t think to tell me all this before I bloody come here?!?” Adam’s sadness had slowly turned into anger as he spat out the words.

“I tried! But you are so conceited, every single time I try to tell you something important you just cut me off and start talking about you! I tried to distance myself from you, which I know is a childish way to deal with a problem; but you left me no choice!”

Adam looked at Kurt with an arrogant glare before snorting. “I’m worth so much more than this crap. I’m worth much more than you Kurt Hummel; frankly you never deserved me and I’ll make sure everyone knows that. I’m out of this shit place and I never want to see you and your pathetic talentless self.”

“You one dimensional semi talented drummer, why did I ever think you were an artist?” Ben asks

“Because what I do is an art form. What Blaine and Josh and Brittany do with a guitar is an art form. What you do with a guitar makes most people fall asleep. Now to quote the Kids From Yesterday. ‘Now this could be the last of all the rides we take.’ Permanently. We’re done. I want you to leave my home town and never come back and if I ever see you again anywhere I will not hesitate to break your fuckin’ nose!” Fynn spat

They both turned on his heels and headed towards the door with angry strides as the party watched on bewildered.

“Let’s go home, bro.” Finn said has he put his hand on his shoulder; just how much of the conversation had he heard? He nodded weakly and let himself be guided to the car, he finally felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He could breathe again.

“Come on drummer boy. You did good.” Santana says throwing a hand over Fynn’s shoulder 

“You’re funny.” Fynn quips

“Yeah I know.” Santana says her pride oozing off her

“I was being sarcastic.” Fynn quips sarcastically

“Shut up.” Santana says lightly pushing him


	11. Chapter 11

Lima, Hudson-Hummel house

As soon as they had entered the house, Sam and Finn had declared the three guests of the house needed a shower and had rushed upstairs; leaving Kurt with a confused mom and dad.

“Hey, kiddo nice to see you. How are you feeling?” Burt asks

“How much did Finn already tell you?” Kurt asks in return his shoulders sagging

Sigh. “Everything.” Carole says

“Good. No need to repeat. He was no one important and now he’s gone. You wouldn’t have liked him anyways.” Kurt says

He smiled weakly at his dad, silently telling him that he didn’t really want to talk about that particular subject anymore. They settled into some small talk about different aspects of Kurt’s life, it was less awkward than the last time he had been in Lima since the young man had actually made an effort to stay in contact this time.

When Carol declared that she would start dinner, Kurt mentioned going to speak to Finn real quick before coming back down to help. He climbed the stairs and left his bag in his empty room, if he didn’t know for a fact that Blaine, Josh and Brittany still slept there he would have thought it was always empty. As he exited his room, he noticed a third hole in the wall where the previous two had been. He had only glanced at Finn’s hand while he was gripping the steering wheel, but he was pretty sure the bruises of his knuckles came from the wall; he would investigate later on.

When he got to Finn’s room he was surprised to see Brittany sitting on the bed, the oversized hoodie she was wearing was making her look even more frail and delicate than before. She looked up when she heard noise and a faint smile graced her lips.

“Hi.” She said meekly.

“Hey.” He could do this; he could act normal; right? “I um… thought I heard the shower stop and…”

“It did, I’m not in it anymore.”

“Right… Anyways I just wanted to tell Finn he could sleep in my bed tonight; you know to avoid sleeping on the uncomfortable ground.”

“He’ll be out soon.”

Kurt stood awkwardly in the door frame, not knowing if he could actually continue the conversation or if Brittany still hated him. Not that he was 100% certain that she hated him before, after all the young girl didn’t have a mean bone in her body.

“How are you?” The question asked by the young blonde brought him out of his pondering. He snapped his head up to look at her and see her patting the bed space in front of her.

He slowly made his way towards the bed to sit on the edge: “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

“People ask me that all the time. I have a feeling people don’t ask you very often.”

Wow. Since when had the ditzy cheerleader become so wise?! He sighed audibly before answering truthfully. “I’m okay actually. I feel better now that I’m free, I can stop pretending to be someone I’m not.”

“I like you as Kurt Hummel.”

“Me too. I just forgot who he was for a while.”

She nodded briefly before tugging on her sweater’s sleeves; she was uncomfortable and his earlier suspicions about the necessary long sleeves were confirmed.

“He looked like a big meanie anyways.” She finally says with a genuine smile.

He returns her smile and answers: “Yes he was.”

“Is um… Santana’s girlfriend…?” she half-whispered.

“She’s actually a lot nicer and she makes Santana happy… at least I think. You never truly know with her…” Kurt says

“That’s good. She deserves to be happy.” And I don’t is left unsaid, but he can see it clearly written all over her face.

He thinks back to the holes on the wall; to what he heard on that fateful night; to what Finn said when he had called. He’s slowly realizing that his friends’ self-esteem is much lower than he thought.

“You do too, deserve to be happy I mean.” He says softly while grabbing her hand.

She looked as if she wanted to say more, but clamp her mouth shut when she noticed that new people had entered the room. Kurt didn’t need to turn around to know who it was; it showed in her body language. She suddenly looked much more relaxed and stopped fidgeting with her shirt sleeve as her eyes soften significantly.

As he got up from the bed and took a step back, Blaine immediately jumped on the bed and Brittany latched herself on his arm. They still both looked tired and hurt, but there was a lightness to their movements that wasn’t there the last time he had seen them.

“I just wanted to say that you could sleep with me tonight Finn. I mean… it’s probably more comfortable than the floor.” He said before exiting the room to head to take a shower. They were in his house, but he suddenly felt like the odd one out.

Finn had accepted Kurt’s offer in the end, preferring a bed much more than the floor after all. The evening had been relatively awkward, with Finn and Sam trying to fill each stretch of silence with some blabbering. In the end, Kurt had escaped the living room to indulge in a long bubble bath to remove some of the stress he felt. He had received multiple texts from Rachel during the evening, and a few from Santana, only one from Fynn but that was normal he wasn’t a texty person, that everything seemed to be going well on their end with their respective families.

Finn was already in bed when he got back to his room, he slipped in quietly thinking that he was probably already asleep. He had so many things to say; to ask, but in the end only one mattered.

“Where were you last time we came?” he half-whispered. He didn’t know for sure if Finn was awake, but his breathing was far from regular like someone sleeping.

“Psychiatric hospital.” Finn answered softly.

“W-W-What? I mean how? Why?” Don’t yell Kurt, remember to be nice.

“Needed help, took me a while to realize it.” He sighed audibly. Kurt doesn’t speak; hoping that his brother will open up to him some more. “I just… hated myself you know? It’s hard, when you see everyone you know move on to bigger and better things; but you’re still stuck at the same place as before. Rachel and you were in New York, Quinn was at Yale, Mike and Mercedes in L.A. But I was still in Lima; and I wasn’t getting out soon.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way.” Kurt says

“Never told anyone. I started to feel so pathetic, so useless, that I thought no one would care if I was gone. I wasn’t doing anything with my life and didn’t feel like I would ever. Mr. Shue asked me to help with New Directions, but I thought they would just see me as the graduated loser who couldn’t make it out there.” Finn says exposing his soul to his step brother

“Was it him? Who helped you?” Kurt asks

“Your dad actually. He pulled me aside and started talking, and he told me that he noticed I was always wearing long sleeves now; he was crying and all of a sudden I was balling and he was holding me and telling me that we’d find help for me. He drove me out and I stayed there a few weeks.”

“When did you come out?”

“A couple of days after you left actually. Blaine, Josh and Brittany’s condition wasn’t getting any better and they were starting to worry. I realised that I could help them; I had a purpose again. I started helping them here, and then at school. I realised that people weren’t judging me at all; they were happy I was there. It’s stupid really; that I need people’s validation to feel good about myself.” Finn explains

“It’s not stupid. We all need it.” Kurt interjected. He thought about how much he had changed himself to please people in New York, how much he had needed to fit in. “You look good now though; I’m happy.”

“Working with the New Directions helped me a lot, made me realise I could make a difference just like Mr. Shue made a difference in our lives. When Blaine, Josh and Brittany are stable enough I’m thinking of going to get my teacher’s degree.” Finn says

“You’ll be an awesome teacher Finn.” Kurt says encouragingly

“Thanks bro, now let’s get some sleep now; I think it’s going to be a rough night.” Kurt didn’t need to ask what would make the night rough; he knew that he was a trigger.

Finn had been right; it had been a very rough night. They had woken up a total of five times from nightmares, and getting them back to sleep proved to be quite the difficult task. As soon as a small noise was made, Finn and Kurt were up and making their way to the bedroom where Sam was already trying to sing them back to sleep and calm. Kurt always stopped at the doorway and sat just outside the room, he figured it was probably better if Blaine didn’t see him. It was around 4am when they got them to sleep for the last time, when Carol came out of her room. Words weren’t needed as she went to go get some sleeping pills to help everyone get a little bit of rest before the big show.

Hopefully, the show would go on without a hitch.

The next morning

Santana walks in the house using the spare key and blinks the sleep out of her eyes. She spots a form on the couch and almost prays it’s Brittany but she half recognises the complex chord movements the hidden person is doing. “Josh?” She calls out into the gloom

“Santana?” Josh replies

“Are you even allowed to be out of bed?” Santana asks

“Yeah. I’m not completely helpless. I had a nightmare and didn't wanna bother anyone so I just decided to come down here and practice chord shapes.” Josh says

“Cool. Can you play me something?” Santana asks

“Fine. In exchange for information.” Josh says holding up his hand

“Okay. What do you wanna know?” Santana asks

“Is he gone? That Hargreaves dick?” Josh asks

“Yes he’s well and properly gone. I wish I had him leaving on video. It was fucking hilarious.” Santana chuckles

“All right. Fairs fair. Get me my guitar, it's at the end of the hall.” Josh says as Santana gets up and brings it back.

“What are you gonna play?” Santana asks

“I’m not gonna plug it in, I'm just gonna play some random chord assortments.” Josh says strumming happily feeling the rhythm and playing a series of chord shapes and string some together into a variety of riffs

“Do you want coffee? Are you allowed coffee?” Santana asks

“No I’m not. I’m allowed juice though.” Josh says

“Okay. I’m gonna make myself a coffee and I’ll get you a glass of apple juice while I’m in there.” Santana says

“Sounds good.” Josh says putting a thumb up


	12. Regionals and More Revelations

Lima, Hudson-Hummel house

The next morning is awkward, and not much is said between the occupants of the house. Kurt notices how everyone seems intent on keeping Blaine as far away from him as possible, but he didn’t let it get to him; he had a full week to win back some of his trust.

A loud sigh escaped his lips as he flopped down on the couch, he wanted to be patient with Blaine; but the need to be close to him was surging through his body. The emotional and physical desire that he had always had for Blaine was coming full force, he wanted to be close to his best-friend again and share everything with him. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed having Blaine in his life, but now he realized just how lucky he had been to have the young man in his life.

From Rachel: We’re all still meeting at WMHS for tonight, right?

From Kurt: Yup, we got seats reserved.

From Santana: Next to what’s-his-face I’m guessing?

From Kurt: …

From Rachel: I’m sure Sebastian isn’t that bad: people can change!

From Kurt: I have my doubts.

From Rachel: I say we give him the benefit of the doubt.

From Kurt: I say you’re turning soft.

From Santana: I say I’m not. How’s your drug dealer boyfriend?

From Kurt: !!! XD

From Rachel: HE IS NOT A DRUG DEALER!!!!

From Fynn: He really fucking is Rachel. Face the facts. He’s gone more than he’s at home. He carries large wads of cash and has a pager. He’s a goddamn drug dealer. XD

From Rachel: For the last fuckin’ time Brody is not a drug dealer!

“Who’s not a drug dealer?”

“Gah! Finn! Don’t scare me like that!” Kurt said clutching his heart, seriously for a guy that big he sure didn’t make a lot of noise. Finn simply shrugged and pointed back to Kurt’s phone where Rachel’s message was on full display. “Oh her boyfriend, Brody.” Seeing the look of anger cross his step-brother’s face he quickly added: “I mean he’s not, we think. Santana, Fynn and I just find it weird that he always has a lot of cash on him and stuff: it’s more a running gag than anything else. Still… I would love to be able to do a background check on him; just to be sure of course.”

Finn hummed lightly before moving to the kitchen with his phone in his hand and Kurt might have heard him say: “I might know a guy”, but he wasn’t sure and didn’t press his brother for more answers.

After his long and relaxing shower, he went through the motions of the day, without too much thought, and before he knew it they were all getting ready to head to McKinley for the Regional’s competition. After everything he had seen, it didn’t even surprise him an inch when Burt and Carol announced that they would also be coming.

Lima, William-McKinley High School in the auditorium

[New Directions Girls:]  
“Oooooo  
Aaaaah  
Oooooo  
Aaaaah”

[Jake:]  
“Yeah, you could be the greatest  
You could be the best  
You could be the King Kong banging on your chest”

[Ryder:]  
“You can beat the world  
You can beat the war  
You can talk to God, ([ND Girls:] Aaaaaah)  
Go banging on his door”

[Sam:]  
“You can throw your hands up ([ND Girls:] Ha ha ha ha)  
You can beat the clock ([Joe:] Yeah)  
You can move a mountain ([ND Girls:] Aaaaah)  
You can break rocks”

[Joe:]  
“You can be a master ([ND Girls:] Ha ha ha ha)  
Don't wait for luck ([ND Girls:] Aaaaaaah)  
Dedicate yourself and you gon' find yourself”

[Artie with New Directions:]  
“Standing in the hall of fame ([Joe:] Yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh ooh)  
And the world's gonna know your name ([Joe:] Yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh ooh)  
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame ([Joe:] Yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh ooh)  
And the world's gonna know your name ([Joe:] Yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh ooh)  
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame”

[Sam:]  
“You can go the distance ([New Directions:] Aaaah)  
You can run the mile  
You can walk straight through hell with a smile ([New Directions:] Aaaah)”

[Artie:]  
“You can be a hero ([New Directions:] Aaaah)  
You can get the gold  
Breaking all the records they thought never could be broke ([New Direction:] Aaaah)”

[Jake:]  
“Yeah, do it for your people ([New Directions:] Ha ha ha ha)  
Do it for your pride  
You never gonna know if you never even try ([New Directions:] Haaaah)”

[Ryder with New Directions Girls:]  
“Do it for your country ([New Directions:] Ha ha ha ha)  
Do it for your name  
'Cause there's gonna be a day”

[Ryder:]  
“When ya”

[Artie with New Directions:]  
“Standing in the hall of fame ([Joe:] Yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh, ohh ohh ohh)  
And the world's gonna know your name ([Joe:] Yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh, ohh ohh ohh)  
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame ([Joe:] Yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh, ohh ohh ohh)  
And the world's gonna know your name ([Joe:] Yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh, ohh ohh ohh)  
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame”

[Ryder:]  
“Be a champion, be a champion  
Be a champion, be a champion”

[Artie:]  
“And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame”

[Jake and Joe:]  
“Be students ([New Directions:] Haaah)  
Be teachers  
Be politicians ([Artie:] Uh uh) ([New Directions:] Haaah)  
Be preachers  
Yeah ([Artie:] Come on)”

“Be believers ([New Directions:] Haaah)  
Be leaders ([Artie:] Uh uh uh)  
Be astronauts ([New Directions:] Haaah)  
Be champions  
Be truth seekers (Artie: Hey, yeah)”

“Be students ([Artie:] Yeah!) ([New Directions:] Haah)  
Be teachers ([New Directions:] Yeah!)  
Be politicians ([New Directions:] Haaah)  
([New Directions:] Yeah!) Be preachers ([Artie:] Be preachers)”

“Be believers ([New Directions:] Yeah! Haah)  
Be leaders ([New Directions:] Yeah!)  
Be astronauts ([New Directions:] Haaah)  
([ND:] Yeah!) Be champions”

[New Directions:]  
“Ohhhhhh!”

[Artie with New Directions:]  
“Standing in the hall of fame ([Joe:] Yeah, yeah, yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh, ohh ohh ohh)  
And the world's gonna know your name ([Joe:] Yeah, yeah, yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh, ohh ohh ohh)  
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame ([Artie:] Flame!) ([Joe:] Yeah, yeah, yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh, ohh ohh ohh)  
([Artie:] Woah, oh!)  
And the world's gonna know your name ([Joe:] Yeah, yeah, yeah) ([New Directions:] Ooooh oooh, ohh ohh ohh)”

[Artie:]  
“Oh, oh you, and you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame ([New Directions:] Standing in the hall of fame!)”

[Sam:]  
“([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the greatest  
([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the best  
([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest  
([New Directions:] And the world's gonna know your name!)”

[Sam:]  
“([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the greatest  
([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the best  
([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest  
([New Directions:] And the world's gonna know your name!)”

[Sam:]  
“([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the greatest  
([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the best  
([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest  
([New Directions:] And the world's gonna know your name!)”

[Sam:]  
“([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the greatest  
([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the best  
([Ryder:] You can be a champion)  
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest  
([New Directions:] And the world's gonna know your name!)”

[Artie with New Directions:]  
“Standing in the hall of fame”

“I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone.  
I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn.  
I threw your stuff into a bag and pushed it down the stairs.  
I crashed my car into the bridge.”

“I don't care, I love it. I don't care.”

“I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone.  
I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn.  
I threw your stuff into a bag and pushed it down the stairs.  
I crashed my car into the bridge.”

“I don't care, I love it.  
I don't care, I love it, I love it.  
I don't care, I love it. I don't care.”

“I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone.  
I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn.  
I threw your stuff into a bag and pushed it down the stairs.  
I crashed my car into the bridge.”

“I don't care, I love it.  
I don't care, I love it, I love it.  
I don't care, I love it.  
I don't care, I love it, I love it.  
I don't care.  
I love it.”

As the others sing Marley’s original song Josh, Blaine and Brittany get changed for their showstopper The Scientist 

In the changing room

“Are you guys nervous? I mean we haven’t performed for a crowd this big since we started the band.” Josh says

“Terrified.” Blaine says pulling on his T-shirt the neck twist slightly and Josh can see the two hideous scars on his chest from the bullets

“Everyone in tune?” Brittany asks

“Definitely.” Josh says stopping as he pulls on his shirt to look at his own scars he’d been hit twice in the chest just above his fifth and seventh rib and once in abs three white circular marks forever etched into his skin just adding to the scratch marks and multiple scars from the surgery.

In the auditorium

The three come out on stage make the finals checks just as Marley finishes belting plugging in their instruments and fighting the urge to run off stage and cry till their throats feel raw, their eyes are red and they physically can’t cry anymore then the drum beat kicks in as soon as they hear the drums the New Yorkers choke back tears

[Instrumental Intro]

[Josh]  
“Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh…”

[Blaine, Josh and Brittany]  
“Well now, this could be the last of all the rides we take  
So, hold on tight and don't look back  
We don't care about the message or the rules they make  
I'll find you when the sun goes black”

“And you only live forever in the lights you make  
When we were young, we used to say  
That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break  
Now we are the kids from yesterday” 

[Josh]  
“Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh…”

[Blaine, Josh and Brittany]  
“All the cameras watch the accidents and scars you hate  
They only care if you can bleed  
Does the television make you feel the pills you ate  
Or every person that you need to be?”

“Cause you only live forever in the lights you make  
When we were young, we used to say  
That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break  
Now we are the kids from yesterday…”

[Blaine, Josh and Brittany (Josh)]  
“Today! Today! We are the kids from yesterday... today, today!  
Here we are and we won't stop breathing (Today! Today!)  
Yell it out, 'til your heart stops beating (Today!)  
We are the kids from yesterday! Today!”

[Blaine, Josh and Brittany]  
“Cause you only live forever in the lights you make  
When we were young, we used to say  
That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break  
Now we are the kids from yesterday…”

[Blaine and Brittany (Josh)]  
“(Ooh, ooh...) We are the kids from yesterday  
(Ooh, ooh...) We are the kids from yesterday  
(Ooh, ooh...) We are the kids from yesterday  
(Ooh, ooh...) Today, today…”

[Instrumental Outro.] As the final chords ring out Josh, Blaine and Brittany smile properly, genuinely smile for the first time in a long time

Backstage

“Hey you guys were great. Do you need anything?” Carole asks

“Yeah. A drink.” Josh says wiping the sweaty hair from his face. 

“You guys were great.” Carole says taking the can of Coke from Burt and handing it to the black haired boy

“Thanks Carole it felt good to perform again.” Brittany says putting her guitar a Fender Stratocaster with a wobbly bar in its case

“It feels good to be on stage again.” Josh says setting his Coke down as he puts his guitar a Gibson Les-Paul away

“I’ve missed this.” Blaine says putting his bass guitar an Epiphone EB-3 Bass into its case

“Let’s go join the others in the choir room.” Carole says

“Yes let’s.” Josh says grabbing his drink as they walk out

In the choir room

“I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM!” roared Finn as Ryder and Jake held him back.

No one knew what had triggered him, one minute he was talking to Sebastian about something on his phone while everyone was still on their winning high; the next he was lunging at Brody swearing that he was going to kill him.

“Finn, calm down!”

“Not until that scumbag gets the fuck out!”

“Language young man! That is no way to talk about someone, even if you don’t like them.” Carol said.

“It is when the person is a fuckin’ prostitute!” Finn semi-yelled.

A deafening silence reigned over the choir room it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop as everyone turned to look at the New Yorkers. Rachel had her mouth wide open and was staring at her boyfriend, willing him to say something to contradict what Finn was saying.

“What are you talking about?” the young man asked, of course he was going to play the innocent card here.

Finn huffed loudly, motioning to the boys that they didn’t have to restrain him anymore (they stayed closed anyways). “I wanted to prove to Santana and Kurt that you weren’t a drug dealer, so I had Sebastian do a background check on you.”

“My dad’s a district attorney… I have contacts pretty much anywhere in the country. You Mr. Weston have been arrested twice already on counts of prostitution in the state of New York. You pleaded guilty the two times, and paid the bail; I’ve got all the info right here.” Sebastian says holding up his phone with the information on it

Brody shifted uncomfortably as everyone in the room stared at him, Rachel had tears stinging her eyes as she gaped at her boyfriend. This couldn’t be true, drug dealer she could (probably) deal with… but prostitute?? Everybody was looking at her, expecting her to say something to her boyfriend, but for once in her life Rachel Berry was speechless.

“I think it’s best if you leave now.” Mr. Shue said, standing in between Brody and Finn. “And that you stay away from Rachel from now on.”

As Rachel saw her (ex?) boyfriend scramble to get out of the class, tears started to well up in her eyes. Never in her life had she been this embarrassed in front of others. Now all the members of the glee club knew that she went out with a prostitute! She quickly turned around and ran down the hall to go hide in the all-too-familiar girl’s bathroom. She thought that when she was leaving high school she would leave behind all the drama and would move on to a better life. Yet, here she was again: a sobbing mess in William McKinley’s girls’ bathroom.

She pulled her head up and saw her three roommates looking at her with soft eyes and a bit of pity.

“Don’t you dare tell me we told you so!” she said angrily. “I have never been embarrassed like that, I can never show my face here again. Imagine what they’re all saying about me!”

“They won’t judge you Rach; that’s what the glee club is all about.”

The door opened with a bang, letting in a petite blonde still her competition outfit. She had a scowl on her face as she stared at the four occupants of the bathroom.

“Leave.” She said simply, leaning on the wall.

“What, you can’t use the bathroom if people are listening?” Quipped Santana.

“I mean, leave Lima. Get the hell out of here and go back to New York.”

“Who the hell do you think you are to tell us what to do?”

“Give us a break! We didn’t do anything wrong here!” cried Kurt.

“You being here is what’s wrong.” Kitty said, surprisingly calm. “Things were going great before you arrived: we got Finn back and Blaine, Josh and Brittany were finally functioning like normal human beings. But then you come back and mess everything up with your drama!”

“I didn’t ask for this!” yelled Rachel. “I sure didn’t ask my boyfriend to be a prostitute just so I could create some drama at my old high school!”

“Yeah, so how about you back the hell off and stop telling us how to act around our friends or Auntie Snix will come out and play.”

Kitty scoffed. “Bring it.”

“Ladies retract the claws.” Fynn warns cautiously, taking a half step forward but too late Santana started lunging towards Kitty, but was stopped by Kurt blocking her way. He was sturdier than when he was a high schooler; thank god for combat classes.

“How about we stop the fighting? There’s been enough drama tonight as is.”

“Sure, as soon as Barbie backs the fuck off.”

“Not gonna happen. I told you: I want you gone. Actually, I’m pretty sure that everybody wants you gone. They’re better off without you in their lives.”

“Those guys have been our friends for much longer than you.” Rachel interjected. “I don’t know what your relationship is with Finn or Brittany or Blaine or hell no matter how annoying he is even Josh for that matter but-”

“I’M THE GIRL THAT GOT THEM SHOT!” Kitty yelled, tears stinging her eyes.

“W-what?”

“If I hadn’t been in the choir room that day; if I hadn’t been wearing that STUPID uniform, then they wouldn’t have had to distract the shooter and get shot instead of me. I should’ve been shot; I was wearing my uniform! But they protected me, because that’s what they do: protect their friends. And now… Now they can’t even protect themselves anymore; now it’s our turn to protect them. And that means protecting their hearts from any more heartbreak you could bring them.” She took a deep breath, and quickly scrubbed her eyes to dry the tears that were forming. “If you ever loved them at all, then do them this favor and leave them alone so that they can move on. Let them forget you and try to find happiness with someone else.”

“You mean; with you?” Spat Rachel who couldn’t quite accept the fact that Finn may have moved on from her, and still oblivious to what he had gone through ever since she left for New York.

Kitty simply shrugged: “Who knows? Anyways, when you’re done being overly dramatic; come back to the choir room so that Finn can stop feeling guilty about this whole ordeal.” She said exiting the bathroom.

It took them a minute to compose themselves and head back to the choir room where everyone was waiting for them. Finn was sitting at the drum and started a song, Be Okay, as soon as the quartet entered the room. It did not escape their attention that Kitty was standing next to the drum; that Blaine was sitting at the piano with Sebastian; or that Brittany was huddled close to Sam. Josh stood back to back with Unique making his guitar shred the chords. And while it did stir something in them, they preferred not to make any comments on the fact and instead joined in during the song.

Were they giving up? Absolutely not. They just needed some time to regroup and make a plan of action.


End file.
